Midlife crisis, blog edition

I decided it was time for a blog makeover. Hope you love it as much as I do! I'm pretty proud of it since I did it myself. It's not perfect, and there's some tweaking I want to do, but I like having a fresh look and feel that is a little more my style.

I also changed the URL to http://brightlybeautifulblog.blogspot.com/ so will need to re-follow me on Bloglovin or whatever reader you use. Also, I made a Facebook page for my blog! I will be posting links to new posts on there so if that is something you are interested in I would love it if you would give it a "like"! :)

Thanks for following! I love reading your comments and getting to know so many great people through blogging. The internet is a pretty amazing thing, isn't it?

-M

The problem with feminists

Feminism. Oh, what a touchy subject this can be. 

Disclaimer: I'm fully aware that I might offend some of the people that read this, so I just want to apologize in advance. That's not my intention. I just want to discuss some of the thoughts and ideas that have been running through my mind lately.

I believe that women are powerful. Their influence on the world is strong and deep. I am thankful for the good that women do in the world, whether it be in the home or in the workforce, and I firmly believe in the importance of getting a good education whether you are male or female. Women should absolutely be able to vote, have their own bank accounts, be property/business owners, political leaders, gain higher education, and have a career. Some of these rights were fairly recently granted to American women, and I am so thankful for the people that brought about these changes. I'm thankful for the opportunities I have as an American woman, and for the decisions I am free to make that allow me to live the life I want to lead.

I truly feel blessed to be a woman in this day and age.

Bam! Woman power!

This all sounds pretty feminist-y, doesn't it? However, I feel very reluctant to refer to myself as a "feminist". I have many feminist peers and I enjoy talking to them or reading their opinions and feelings on the subject, but I find it very interesting that I disagree with most of their beliefs. In fact, there are few ideals I have in common with the majority of these feminist friends of mine. 

I was really baffled by this at first, but after a while I figured out why we felt so differently. I believe that "masculinism" (and sometimes chauvinism) has taken the place of modern feminism. In today's society, most feminists I have come in contact with are, in my opinion, basically trying to become men, and this is where I draw the line. To me, this is where feminism is no longer truly feminism. 

As I wrote in this post, my definition of true feminism is embracing the unique, God-given qualities women have been blessed with, and using those qualities to better the world in a way that only women can. 

I firmly believe that women and men are equal in importance. We need both sexes for social and biological purposes; neither is more necessary than the other. I also believe that we are different for a reason and that each sex is divinely created to fulfill a specific role.

Gender is not a coincidence, neither is it arbitrary. It is a central part of our spiritual identity and responsibility and is a central part of the Plan of Salvation. The Family: A Proclamation to the World is a great resource to learn more about why gender roles are important and what responsibilities each gender has. Here is an excerpt:

"All human beings—male and female—are created in the image of God. Each is a beloved spirit son or daughter of heavenly parents, and, as such, each has a divine nature and destiny. Gender is an essential characteristic of individual premortal, mortal, and eternal identity and purpose."

Here it what it says about the responsibilities of parents in the home:

"By divine design, fathers are to preside over their families in love and righteousness and are responsible to provide the necessities of life and protection for their families. Mothers are primarily responsible for the nurture of their children. In these sacred responsibilities, fathers and mothers are obligated to help one another as equal partners. Disability, death, or other circumstances may necessitate individual adaptation. Extended families should lend support when needed."

Now this is where I am probably going to ruffle some feminist feathers: As is stated above, I believe that the primary role of women should be a wife and a mother, and that no other path of life can be more noble, important, or fulfilling. Do I believe in getting an education? Absolutely! Get a good education if you possibly can. Is there anything wrong with pursuing a career? No way! However, neither of these things should ever take precedence over family. That is what is most important. At the beginning of this post I said that "women should absolutely be able to . . . be property/business owners, political leaders, gain higher education, and have a career". This is true, but none of these things should take priority over a family or keep women from fulfilling their responsibility to be a wife and mother if they have the opportunity. Unfortunately, a misconception I often see in modern feminism is the idea that to be a successful woman you must have a career, and that being a mother is a restrictive burden. Nothing could be further from the truth. Motherhood is more important, more precious, and more rewarding than any career. (Side note: I recognize that not everyone has the opportunity to get married or have children in this life, and no one should be looked down on for that or feel that it affects their worth as a person at all. Unfortunately I've heard of a few people that have felt that way.)

"There are two principles that we should always keep in mind. First, no woman should ever feel the need to apologize or feel that her contribution is less significant because she is devoting her primary efforts to raising and nurturing children. Nothing could be more significant in our Father in Heaven’s plan. Second, we should all be careful not to be judgmental or assume that sisters are less valiant if the decision is made to work outside the home. We rarely understand or fully appreciate people’s circumstances. Husbands and wives should prayerfully counsel together, understanding they are accountable to God for their decisions." -Elder Quentin L. Cook (source)

I also support the priesthood-based (or patriarchal) structure of my church. The majority of church leaders are men, and the leaders that are female work under the direction of priesthood leaders (who are all male since women do not hold the priesthood). And you know what? I'm okay with this. I know that my church is led by a prophet that receives direction from God, and because of this knowledge I know that the leadership structure of my church is based on revelation and guidance from Him. I certainly don't feel oppressed as a Mormon woman because of this structure or the fact that I don't hold the priesthood (besides when I hug my husband... heh heh :P). In fact, I am grateful for the ways that my religion helps me, as a woman, be my best and realize my full potential. 

My point is that the problem with (most, not all) feminists is that too often they forget what it means to be feminine. 

(source)

Being feminine means using the divine qualities and responsibilities we've been given to make the world better by working with men, not against them, and supporting their divine qualities and responsibilities.  

It means being gentle, loving, compassionate, classy, righteous, nurturing, strong, innovative, creative, powerful, intelligent, and wise -- qualities I hope to instill in my daughters (and my sons, for that matter!). 

It is magnifying womanhood, motherhood, and sisterhood. 

It is becoming more like our heavenly parents every day. 

Read more of my thoughts on the subject here and here.

Also, this makes me laugh. ;)

 

Happy Monday!

This is true love

This is such a beautiful video. You've got to watch it! It is too good to pass over. Promise. 

"I am determined to care for her every need. You see, God has loved us so unconditionally, and I understand that God has put His love in my heart. And because I realize how much God has loved me, that's how I too can love my lovely wife."

"She has done so much for me over all of these years. Now she can't, but I can, and I can return her love."

This, this is what true love really is... sacrifice, patience, loyalty, tenderness, and pure joy. Isn't this sweet couple a perfect example of all these things? 

Five beautiful things

I think it is a well known fact that this world is full of a lot of ugly, sad, scary things. 

I'm not one to watch the news very much, but I did have it on for a few minutes the other day and it was really depressing. There's so much crazy stuff going on that it can be easy to forget what a beautiful place this world is, and I do still believe that the good and happy and beautiful things in this world outweigh the bad. Sometimes you just have to work a little harder to find them.

Here are five of the beautiful things I've been loving lately.

1. This song by Gungor 

All around

Hope is springing up from this old ground

Out of chaos life is being found in You

You make beautiful things

You make beautiful things out of the dust

You make beautiful things

You make beautiful things out of us

I love this. So peaceful, hopeful, and inspiring. 

2. Tulips

I don't know if it is possible to be a tulip addict, but it so then I am one. Daffodils and tulips are my favorite flowers of all time, and that is saying a lot because I am a flower lover. 

P.S. Thank you Dallin for surprising me with a sweet new lens for my camera!
It was fun  testing it out on my tulips. :)

3. This shadow dancing performance

I mean... seriously? This blew my mind, and maybe even made me a little teary-eyed. Maybe. ;)

4. The Temple

Mesa, AZ Temple. Photo by me, taken a couple months ago.

This is one of my favorite places to go to find beauty, peace, and deeper purpose in my life. I love it here. It always feels like home to me. 

5. The Gospel

This morning I was reading my scriptures and it reminded me again of what a beautiful blessing the gospel is. It provides me with the peace and power I need to be happy and successful in life. For that I will always be thankful. One of the things I love the most about my faith is that it makes everything okay.

Because I know God and that He is aware of me, I have no reason to fear, and that knowledge is the most beautiful thing of all.



What are some beautiful things in your life lately? How do you stay positive and happy?

Thrift store/refashion WIN

So... I really love thrift stores. A lot. 

I love never knowing what I'll find when I go shopping. A few weeks ago I found and bought this dress in a thrift store for $2.00, knowing it would need some alterations to make it work. I wasn't sure it would turn out, but I was so in love with the lace details at the collar (scroll down to see closer pictures of it) that I knew I had to at least try. 

Here's what it looked like before I started messing with it.

It was baggy in all the wrong places, and those sleeves were a little too much for me, so I went to work. First, I shortened the sleeves. There were also a few seams that were about to burst that I mended.

Here it is after the alterations and with the sash. I absolutely love how it turned out!

Check out the beautiful lacy collar! Also, did I mention that this dress is handmade?! That just makes me love it that much more! 

Definitely worth the $2.00, wouldn't you say?

P.S. If you didn't see my previous post, you should join me in jumping on the #ootdeverydaymay ("outfit of the day every day in May") hashtag on instagram! Read more about it here, and follow me on instagram here. :)

Thrift store score + #ootdeverydaymay

I'm just really in love with this dress I found at a thrift store and had to post a picture really fast. Tomorrow I will try to get some better pictures so you can see the before and after shots (I did some altering), but for now here's just a quick shot of the lace detail at the collar.

Also, if you read Harley and Jane you might have read about the "Outfit a day every day in May" funsies going on. I'm going to try to do it (although let's be honest, I probably won't actually do it every day...), and if you are on Instagram you should do it too! Hashtag #ootdeverydaymay

Waterslides Canyon

This weekend's canyoneering adventure took us to Waterslides Canyon, which is out in the middle of nowhere somewhere kind of by Roosevelt Lake (but not really, I'm serious when I say there is nothing nearby).

I've been on some pretty fun canyons, but this one (besides the long hike/rock hop and  getting carsick for the second time in my life) was such a blast. It is aptly named Waterslides canyon for the many sweet slides that make this trip worth the effort!

But before we got to the fun stuff, we had to hike/rappel into the canyon. Here I am on the first rap. 

The sun is a ginger's worst enemy. I took advantage of any opportunity to take cover. :)

Finally to the water! It felt so good to get in! 

Dallin on the first slide! This one was so fun that we kept climbing up to do it again over and over. 

My turn!

Our friends Bret and Jeff came too

Such a beautiful place on such a beautiful day!

My splash at the end of a steep slide. I like this one!

Purty.

Dallin and me in our supersuits. ;)

Dallin getting ready to go down the big one! You can't tell in this picture, but this slide is about 40 feet high and very steep, plus there is a bit of a jump that can really launch you if you hit it right. Let's just say I was really good at hitting it just right, and my backside is probably going to feel a little funny for a while... haha! 

You can kind of see me getting launched in the second picture.. This was terrifying, by the way... haha. It might look tame in the pictures, but it was pretty scary, especially from the top! It's really steep and much higher than it looks in these pictures.

Jeff jumping by the big slide

I thought I had a video of me going down the big slide, but apparently I don't so here is one of Jeff!
(P.S. Enjoy my awkward giggling . Please tell me I don't always sound like that...)

Awww.

Having fun with the waterproof camera

All in all it was a good trip, but let's just say there was no way I was wearing heels to church today. I'm a wee bit sore. It was definitely worth it though. 

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On an unrelated note, remember how I mentioned in this post about how afraid I am to play the piano in church? Well guess who is the new pianist for the Spanish branch we are now attending? Yep, that would be me! This ought to be very interesting. I knew this day would come, and to be honest I'm really thankful that it came when we're in a small branch of super nice people that I already love so much. 

Oh, and if this Spanish branch business is news to you, Dallin was called last week to be in the branch presidency so we will both be attending there from now on. Dallin is fluent in Spanish, but I don't know very much and have a really hard time separating Spanish from Russian in my mind. It's just a matter of time until I start spouting off Russian when I mean to say something in Spanish. I'm telling you, it is going to happen. I'm exciting though! It's going to be an adventure for sure! 

On another unrelated note, aren't tulips such happy flowers? Spring flowers are my favorite.

Happy Sunday!