Just some thoughts

Hot weather and myself do not get along very well. And to this mountain girl, hot weather means anything over 85º. I'm a wimp. 

Baby giggles are the best thing ever. The end.

My kitchen is clean still... but the rest of my house is kinda messy and it's making me anxious. Something needs to be done today before I go bonkers. Funny how now that I don't have much free time I actually want to clean...

I want to have my house painted and decorated all nice and purty, but I kind of stink at it. Too many choices for this indecisive woman.

Lately I've had the itch to hop on a plane and explore somewhere new and far away, but that's difficult because (1) plane tickets/hotels are 'spensive, (2) Dallin has this inconvenient but also very wonderful thing called a "job" and doesn't have much PTO that isn't spoken for already, and (3) I'm a leeeetle nervous to go on a major trip with a four-month-old. 

Speaking of said four-month-old, I just changed his second very poopy diaper of the day. It's 9:00am. Need I say more?

Yesterday I saw a bear in the wild. It was pretty dang cool. I'm glad I was in my car though, fo sho. 

"Gentle Ben, where's Bobby?" #namethatreference

Well, now that you know what's going in my head, how is your Monday morning going?

Eli Thursday

18 weeks

Eli sure loves his daddy. It makes me happy that they are buddies already, and that Dallin makes it a point to have "daddy time" frequently.

I'm a lucky lady to have these boys. Very lucky indeed.

This I Know

I've had a lot on my mind the last few weeks. Whether you are LDS or not, you've probably heard something about the Ordain Women group, its founder Kate Kelly, and everything that has been going on with that situation lately.

I don't think it is much of a secret that I don't agree with the aims of the members of the Ordain Women group. I tend to be pretty vocal about my feminist opinions (and yes, I do consider myself to be a feminist), but I don't want to talk about Ordain Women today. Maybe never, actually. I think there has been plenty of talk already, plenty of pointing fingers and choosing sides, and plenty of harsh judgements coming from all directions.

I don't know a lot of things. The older I get the more aware I am of that fact. I don't know Kate Kelly or any of the members of Ordain Women. I do not know exactly why it is God's will that only men hold the priesthood, although I do have my theories. I also don't know why people like shrimp, or why roaches exist, or why not everyone (my waistline especially) shares my opinion that cookies are an acceptable breakfast food. Sigh.

However, I do know this: the church is true. God lives. He lives, he loves all of his children, and he is aware of each one of us. That means you. Yes, you. This I know.

Because God loves us, and wants us to return to live with him, he has provided the way for us to do just that. He would not withhold anything from us that is necessary for our progression and salvation. This I know.

We came to earth to be tested, which means there will be times when our faith is challenged, but truth and goodness will prevail. This I know.

I love the gospel. I love it deeply. My religion is my rock and I am so thankful for the way it brings peace and strength to my soul. The gospel is pure and perfect, despite the imperfections of people. This I know.

I don't just believe this because I was born into the church. I had to gain that knowledge for myself, a process that took time and effort, and a process that continues every day as I try to fix my plentiful shortcomings. It is in my blood, and has been for many generations, but more importantly my faith is in my heart.

And even though I don't know everything, because I know God lives and what I need to do to return to him, I know enough for now, although I hope to continue to learn more each day.

Meanwhile, instead of looking for faults in each other, maybe we (myself included) should try to be more compassionate and kind, especially to those with differing opinions. We've got better, more important things to do with our time. Maybe we should serve our neighbors more. Maybe we should be less judgmental. And maybe we should talk more about Jesus.

Eli Thursday

17 weeks

He recently figured out how to pick things up, and even if you can't tell from his oh-so-serious face, he loves to sit in his booster seat and smack his toys against the tray. I love seeing him learn new things, plus it sure is nice that it keeps him entertained for a little while so I can get stuff done around the house!

Kitchen

Yesterday I spent most of the day deep cleaning my kitchen. Lately I've been realizing just how much I hate that room (thanks Jen), and although a lot of the changes I want to make are going to require a large chunk of funds that we don't have at the moment, it sure looks a lot better when the dishes are done and everything is squeaky clean.

Spick and span! 

Anyway. Like I said, the last week or so I've been hyper-aware of certain negative features in my kitchen. Because I know you are dying to hear what they are, here's a list:

• Ugly, old oak cabinets stained brown with a hint of orange... yuck.
• Ugly, old counters that are a yellowish off-white color.
• The walls are also a yellowish off-white color... but a different shade than the counters. Oy.
• Fluorescent lights. Need I say more? The fixtures themselves look really bad, plus the weird colored light makes everything look even uglier.
• The sink is very shallow. It always looks like it's piled high with dishes, even if in reality there are just a few dirty bowls. (Although let's be honest, often it looks like it is piled high with dishes because it is.) Also, it's quite old (Our house is even older than my husband! Ancient!), and the steel is dinged and scratched.
• The pantry shelves are problematic... Too tall and too deep to be really useful for smaller things like cans and boxes of pasta. I haven't found a solution that I like yet, at least not one that isn't too expensive. For now some cheap metal wire shelves are making it slightly more bearable.
• The ceiling is lowered everywhere except around said fluorescent lights. It makes the room feel smaller than it really is.

On the bright side, there are some redeeming qualities:

• Dallin bought all new (stainless steel!) appliances when he bought the house several years ago. Yay! And we have a gas range. 
• We have a decent amount of both cabinet and counter space
• I kind of like the ceramic tile floors. I might have chosen a different color, but I can definitely live with it. No problem.
• We have a pantry. Thank goodness. And the things I don't like about it can be fixed without major renovation.
• It's big enough that a few people can work in there at once without it being too crowded.

Even though we'll have to wait a little bit to really start making changes, there's some things I can do to improve it in the meantime. First, that fluorescent light has got to go. I think that will make a huge difference. Once I know what the lighting situation will be, since that affects the color so much, I want to paint the walls. And who knows? Maybe I'll be crazy and just paint my cabinets too. Maaaybe. I'm a little nervous about embarking on that kind of an adventure. 

We will probably be living here for a long time so I'm excited to get my house decorated and arranged the way I want it. If only I had felt this motivated before I got pregnant, but there's no time like the present, right? 

It Wasn't Jet Lag

I felt really strange on Father's Day last year. Actually, I had been feeling off for several weeks, but I was certain it was just post-Spain jet lag since I had never recovered after getting home a couple weeks earlier. I had taken a pregnancy test about a week before, probably the 5,107th once I'd taken in the course of our marriage, so when the question came into my mind again that morning as I got dressed for church, I dismissed it immediately. I wasn't pregnant. I was sure of that. 

Then again, while playing the piano in our little Spanish branch, a wave of fatigue and nausea washed over me again. "This the worst jet lag I have ever had," I thought to myself. And after two trips to Russia in my life, 11 times zones away and far enough off the beaten path that it took 2-3 days to get there, that's saying something. Again the question came to my mind... could I be pregnant? I did the math in my head and realized it was quite possible that the test I had taken a week ago would have been a little too soon to come out positive, even if I were pregnant. But remember how I said I had taken 5,102 pregnancy tests? That means I'd thought I was pregnant at least 5,102 times, so even though I had my suspicions I had gone through so many tests that I didn't get my hopes up. Still, I decided I'd take another when I got home just in case.

I came home from church alone since Dallin had meetings afterward. I took a test, set it on the counter, and watched for the little line to appear, but to my surprise, there was not one... but two lines. 

Two lines.

I flipped out.

It is probably a good thing no one was home to see me jumping around like a crazy woman, but on the downside, that also meant I had no one to tell. Dallin was in meetings and I wanted to tell him (in person) before I told anyone else, so I made a ridiculous video that I will probably never allow anyone else to watch... but it makes to happy to remember how excited I was to find out we were expecting. I had reason to believe that there was a decent chance it could be difficult to get pregnant, and that made it even that much more exciting to get a positive test. I was also happy to have an explanation for what I thought was never-ending jet lag. 

I think the best part was when I breathlessly met Dallin at the door (I'd been impatiently waiting for what seemed like forever), said I had a Father's Day present to give him, and told him I was pregnant. I hope I always remember how happy Dallin looked and how excited we both were as we processed the news. That was a happy day indeed.

I have had so many happy moments since then too, but most of my favorite ones have to do with my little family. I've especially loved seeing Dallin become a daddy. He loves our little babe so much and it just about makes my heart explode to see him snuggle and play with him. 

I know I already posted this picture on my blog, but I just love it so much.

I'm a lucky lady to have found that husband of mine. He takes such good care of our little family and I love him all the more because of it. I'm also thankful for both our fathers; they have influenced our lives immensely through their examples. Happy Father's Day to all... and to all a good night. ;)

Eli Thursday

16 weeks

I was in the kitchen when I realized Eli was being awfully quiet all of a sudden, so I peeked over the counter and saw this. He was so fast asleep he didn't wake up at all when I laid him down in a more comfortable spot. 

Being a baby is hard work, you know.

Eli Thursday

15 weeks

Almost every time I lay Eli on his back, he flips onto him belly just seconds later. Usually he is happy, lifting his head up to look around, but... sooner or later, tummy time gets old and this happens:

"Help, mom... help!"

I know, son. Sometimes exercising makes want to lay on the floor and cry too.