A safe place

I've experienced so many emotions since the day we found out I was pregnant. Happiness, excitement, anxiety, impatience, gratitude... the list goes on. It's a roller coaster. I'm sure that has nothing to do with the wonderful thing that is pregnancy hormones. (False!)

As my due date grows closer, I have a new emotion to add to that list... worry. 

I worry about my little baby since I know he won't be a baby for long. He is going to grow up into a boy, then a teenager, then a man -- all in what will feel like a blink of an eye. He is going to experience both the beautiful and repulsive elements of this world. He is going to face challenges, and my heart is going to burst with happiness when I see him overcome them. He is going to make mistakes, maybe some pretty big ones, and my heart will break to see him learn lessons the hard way. 

I worry about my little baby because I can see what an ugly place the world is becoming. I hope he will seek out all the goodness and beauty that is (thankfully) still all around. Just a few short years ago, when I was a teenager, things were much different. The challenges kids are up against nowadays are changing and intensifying so incredibly quickly. That's something that I was reminded of constantly when I was teaching seminary. What will it be like in 10, 15, 20 years from now? How much more difficult will it be to make righteous choices? 

This morning I woke up with all these worries in my mind. I stewed over them while laying in bed staring at the ceiling. When Dallin left for work I sat down with a bowl of cereal and stewed some more. I stewed so much that I really started to stress out about the idea of becoming a parent. Will I be a good mom? Will my kids make good decisions? Will they be happy?

Then I had the impression to pull up the talks from October's General Conference and find one to listen to. That's one of the ways I find answers and comfort when I need it. I began listening to Pres. Boyd K. Packer's talk titled "The Key to Spiritual Protection". It was just what I needed to hear.  

"Parents today wonder if there is a safe place to raise children. There is a safe place. It is in a gospel-centered home."

I can't control what goes on in the world, but I can make my home a sanctuary. I can teach my children right from wrong. I can give them the tools they need to be successful. 

"We live in perilous times; nevertheless, we can find hope and peace for ourselves and for our families. Those living in sorrow, despairing at the possibility of children being rescued from where the world has taken them, must never give up. 'Be not afraid, only believe.' Righteousness is more powerful than wickedness."

Even though the world is crazy, and getting worse daily, righteousness is more powerful and will win in the end. 

"The gospel teaches us to be happy, to have faith rather than fear, to find hope and overcome despair, to leave darkness and turn toward the light of the everlasting gospel."

It's through the gospel that my family and I can be happy, hopeful, and fearless. That's the key to the protection I so deeply want for my children. And oh, how thankful I am to have it in my life. 

(Written yesterday... I didn't get around to posting it until now.)