Marriage does not suck

I married at a fairly young age. When I met Dallin, I was only nineteen, and we tied the knot when I was the ripe old age of twenty. 

Once we started dating seriously, I couldn't believe the "advice" that started coming in. There was so much negativity people were spreading about marriage. Once we were engaged, it really started raining down. Total strangers would counsel me to "just wait a while" before I supposedly kissed the good life goodbye and assumed a permanent ball and chain. 

To be honest, it freaked me out a little.

I know I was young and naive, but still I think I had a decent idea of what I was getting into. I had been looking forward to becoming a wife for as long as I could remember. I was lucky blessed enough to find the kind of man I always hoped I would find, someone that loved and respected me, who made me happy and kept me laughing. I'd found him, so why wouldn't I marry him? I'll admit there were times when the negative comments would get to me, and I would second-guess my decision. 

I'm so thankful I stuck to my guns though, because you know what? Marriage is freaking awesome. 

I know it isn't that way for everyone. Unfortunately it isn't always a happy ending. But if you find the right person, marriage can be the beginning of a fantastic life, not the end. I can honestly say, without reservation, that my life is so much happier, better, and more fulfilling than it was when I was single. I mean, I get to be with my bestest buddy every day. I can be myself – my dorky, unfiltered self –around him, and that's a big deal for me. We do almost everything together, from hot dates, to fun trips, to thrilling events like running to Walmart for that gallon of milk I forgot to pick up. Dallin keeps me laughing because he is funny, and I keep him laughing because of my rather blonde, klutzy tendencies. When my back has an itch, he can scratch it. When he needs an errand run, I am there to help. We each have responsibilities that help keep our household running smoothly. It's a perfect system for fulfilling all of our needs and helping us to be the happiest humans we can possibly be. Seriously folks, being married is the bomb diggity. 

I’m not saying it's always easy. It certainly requires work, forgiveness, sacrifice, and patience, but it is all worth it. So worth it. 

Two

Two years ago today this handsome man and I got hitched. 

Cliché as it sounds, I don't know how I got so lucky. He makes me happier every day. 

When I was engaged, and for a little while after we got married, so many people gave me marriage tips or advice. I remember hearing lots of them say that things get really hard after a few months or a year, once the "honeymoon is over," but man... it just keeps getting better. I don't know if it's something we're doing right, or if we just happen to get along remarkably well. Most likely it's a little bit of both. All I know is that just when I think I couldn't possibly be any happier, somehow every day I am... and it's all his fault. ;) 

Happy anniversary, my dulcet darling! I'm so glad you are mine.

Here.

I haven't always kept a journal, but over the years I've collected quite a few of them. Today I was organizing a bookshelf that mostly has my books on it, including quite a few of those journals. I ended up doing a lot more sitting on my haunches reading through them than organizing.

Annnd... I'm okay with that. 

These particular journals cover bits and pieces of my life from when I was 10 years old until just before I left for Russia at age 19. Those nine years held a lot of adventures and challenges that shaped me into the person I am now. I started out as a stubborn tomboy of a 10-year-old, then stumbled through my difficult (and very character defining) teenage years, discovered what a wonderful place college can be, and then fell for the man I would later marry, all in those nine years.

Flipping through the pages of the journals took me back and reminded me of what a surprise my life has turned out to be. I would never have guessed that I would be where I am now. It's quite a bit different than the plans I made when I was a little 18-year-old. I thought I was so wise then, but little did I know what was in store for me, namely a dashing young(ish) man named Dallin and a game of ultimate frisbee that would end up taking my life in a different direction that I planned.

My life has not turned out as I expected, and every day I'm thankful for that.

I'm thankful for the prayers that were not answered the way I wanted, the life plans that fell through, and the unexpected changes that landed me where I am now. I know I owe my happiness to failed plans and letting myself take chances.

During lunch today, when I was snuggled up to that husband of mine with my head on his chest and our little son kicking in my belly, I couldn't help but feel grateful. Grateful to be here.

Here, with a husband that is my bestest friend and makes me happier every day.

At the Mesa Temple a couple months ago.

Here, with a wee man-child that we get to meet in about 13 short weeks.

26 weeks

Here, living a life that is perfect for me. 

I think this picture that I posted on Instagram a couple days ago sums life lately up pretty well.

Here's the caption:

"I wanted to take a "baby bump" picture and started moving all the clutter out of the frame, but then I realized that sometimes "clutter" tells a story. So... here I am with le bump wrapped in my favorite comfy sweater, paint samples/masking tape on the wall, the one closet door (of four) that has made it back upstairs since I refinished them, a bunk bed waiting to be moved downstairs, bags of baby clothes from my mom, and the ipad I was using to prepare tomorrow's seminary lesson. 

Life is messy and imperfect, but oh so good."

(Most of this was written yesterday but didn't have time to post it until today, just FYI)

I'm a Mormon woman, I don't hold the priesthood, and I'm okay with that.

There's been an increase of discussion lately about Mormon women and the priesthood, partially because of this group of women who are seeking ordination and to attend the priesthood session of General Conference tomorrow. If you know me personally, and/or have read my blog (especially this post) for very long, you probably know that this is an issue I feel strongly about. Very strongly indeed.

I would really, really like to call myself a feminist. I personally do consider myself to be one, but I hesitate to officially and publicly label myself as one because I disagree with the opinions of almost all of the self-professed "Mormon feminists" out there. I don't want to be mixed up with them. 

Unlike most of these feminists, I do not feel slighted as a Mormon woman. I have never felt like I am less valued or less worthy as a member of the church because of my gender, even though being a woman means I do not hold the priesthood. I don't feel like I need to hold the priesthood to be happy or fulfilled or important. 

I also know that if it were necessary for women to hold the priesthood to be happy or fulfilled or important, then God would never withhold that from us. I know for absolutely certain that if God wanted women to hold the priesthood then, by golly, women would hold the priesthood. It is as simple and profound as that. He would reveal it to our dear prophet, President Thomas S. Monson, and that would be that. The end. 

In The Family: A Proclamation to the World (a very short but extremely worthwhile read found here), it discusses the importance of gender, the roles and responsibilities men and women have, and how they work together. Here are a couple excerpts:

"Gender is an essential characteristic of individual premortal, mortal, and eternal identity and purpose." 

"By divine design, fathers are to preside over their families in love and righteousness and are responsible to provide the necessities of life and protection for their families. Mothers are primarily responsible for the nurture of their children. In these sacred responsibilities, fathers and mothers are obligated to help one another as equal partners."

I love that. Often "gender roles" are considered to be a bad thing (and sometimes they can be), but if you read the Family Proclamation, specifically these excerpts, then you'll see that God has given us gender roles/responsibilities. I would even be so bold as to say that the Plan of Salvation is built upon the foundation of gender roles because that is central to the family and family is central to the Plan of Salvation. And according to the proclamation and this talk, it means that women's primary responsibility is to nurture their children (if they have the opportunity) and that the responsibility to hold the priesthood, the presiding authority in the home and the church, belongs to the men. And you know what? I totally support that. (Gasp!)

I'm sure that some of you are going to read this and think, "None of this sounds very feminist." You're probably right. You see, my definition of feminism is a little different than most. 

To me, true feminism is embracing the unique, God-given qualities women have been blessed with, and using those qualities to better the world in a way that only women can. It means being feminine. Strong, nurturing, loving, gentle, hard-working, intelligent, sensitive, wise, and so much more. 

As a wife, it means supporting my husband, especially his position as a priesthood bearer and the patriarch of our home. It means being an equal partner with him in our marriage and doing my part to keep our relationship strong and our home happy.

As a mother, it means nurturing, loving, and caring for the spiritual, physical, and emotional well-being of my future children... with the help of my husband as my equal partner, of course.

As a single woman, it meant preparing to become a wife and mother, whether I would end up having that opportunity or not. It meant gaining education (both secular and religious), preparing for a meaningful career, and becoming a better person in general.

Anyway... I figure President Gordon B. Hinckley put it best when he said this: 

“Women do not hold the priesthood because the Lord has put it that way. It is part of His program. Women have a very prominent place in this Church. Men hold the priesthood offices of the Church. But women have a tremendous place in this Church. They have their own organization. It was started in 1842 by the Prophet Joseph Smith, called the Relief Society, because its initial purpose was to administer help to those in need. It has grown to be, I think, the largest women’s organization in the world... They have their own offices, their own presidency, their own board. That reaches down to the smallest unit of the Church everywhere in the world...

 “The men hold the priesthood, yes. But my wife is my companion. In this Church the man neither walks ahead of his wife nor behind his wife but at her side. They are co-equals in this life in a great enterprise.” 

Well said. 

Also, because I can't help myself, please enjoy what might be my favorite Mormon pick up line of all time. You're welcome. 

5 happy thoughts

Because sometimes writing them down makes them come into my head, and if we're being honest there aren't very many happy thoughts in my head at the moment as I lay in bed grouchy, sick, and tired.

1. I will be sleeping in my own bed tonight! This babysitting gig has been (for the most part, as seen by my last post) easier and more fun than I was anticipating, but 10 days is a long time to live in someone else's house and it will be nice to get back to normal life.

2. I married a keeper. He really is the best. Patient, sweet, and always making me laugh. I can't believe he was crazy enough to want to marry this crazy goof of a redhead, but I'm sure glad he did!

3. One of the little girls in the family we've been watching loves to come up, pat my belly, and say, "Hi baby" several times a day. She is also really excited to find out whether it is a boy or girl (as am I!) and has made me promise to text her mom when I find out in a few weeks so she can tell her. It is adorable. I might have to sneak her home with us tonight. Her parents won't notice, right?

4. It's Friday! I get my husband all to myself for the next couple of days! Yippee!

5. My almost 2-year-old sister makes my little heart melt every time she tells me "Lah-loo" (Love you) on the phone. She is pretty stinking cute. (And I'm not biased or anything....)

Funny to look back at these happy thoughts and see exactly what is on my mind... sleep, husband, and babies/kids. Must be pregnant or something... eh? :)

On an unrelated note, you should watch this. And all the other Kid Snippets while you're at it, because they are hilarious. Almost as hilarious as listening to the youngest kid we are watching start quoting lines from it at random and then bust up laughing. THE BEST.



Happy Friday!

Exciting news!

Just in case you haven't heard the news already...

...we've got a bun in the oven, coming February 2014!

We're pretty dang excited. We've been looking forward to it for a while, but now that it is actually here it's kind of hard to believe that there's a mini human being hidden inside my expanding midsection. A MINI HUMAN BEING, GUYS. 

And you know what? That's kind of rad. 

Even if said mini human being likes to turn me into a narcoleptic. A constantly peeing, always hungry, emotional, sometimes nauseated, pimply, narcoleptic, hot mess of a woman that doesn't want to do anything but eat, sleep, and watch Parks and Rec/The Office/Monk (again) on Netflix. 

All day, erryday.

And yet, I'm feeling very, very happy and thankful to be able to take on this crazy adventure. This might be a little personal, but I wasn't entirely sure I would be able to have kids, so we're both feeling very blessed indeed. Here's to a healthy pregnancy!

Before I finish up I just have to say that I really, really got lucky when it comes to that husband of mine. Not only does he put up with sharing a house with a psycho pregnant lady, he has been taking such good care of me by doing dishes, making me food when my stomach is wonky, giving me extra snuggles when he can tell I'm feeling blue, teaching seminary for me today (oh yeah, I'm still teaching this semester!), and just being sweet, supportive, and wonderful in general. 
I'll keep him, I s'pose. ;)

We are cheeseballs. Also, thanks to my lovely mama for the pictures!

Summer, slushies, and sunsets

I haven't been in the blogging mood much lately. It's not due to a lack of time; in fact maybe the overabundance of free time I've had lately is making me feel a little... blah.

Seminary starts in two weeks, and although that partially makes me freak out a little bit with all the things I need to do to prepare, I'm also looking forward to having something to occupy my time. And trust me, seminary is very good at that, meaning I will probably be whining about how stressed and busy I am in a few months. (Go ahead, judge me. DO IT.) Also, fun fact: I accidentally wrote "busty" instead of "busy" at first and it made me giggle.

Moving on.

Summer is in full swing at our humble abode. Here's some of the signs of summer around these parts:

• Slushie/vanilla malt/oreo mcflurry runs. All day erryday. Sometimes I feel bad when I go on one of these runs when Dallin is at work, but clearly not bad enough to stop it. (Sorry babe!)
• Never wearing pants (or any other unnecessary layers) in the house if I can help it. It gets too dang hot to keep them on! Unfortunately, the UPS man seems to time his stops at our house perfectly with No Pants Time, so I've started keeping an emergency pair of shorts around just in case after having an awkward experience in which I hid behind the couch after we had made eye contact. Because I'm that smooth and totally not a weirdo at all. (False!) 
• Spending lots of time downstairs, where it is much cooler. Unfortunately since this is where our TV is I usually end up wasting too much time vegging out on the couch. Working on that. (which is why I'm blogging as I sit on said couch watching TV... because somehow that makes it okay, right? Right!)
• Thoroughly enjoying afternoon monsoons. One of my favorite things about living in AZ! I absolutely love how it makes my house smell.
• Eating outside on our brand new deck furniture! We got this a few days ago and I might not eat inside ever again. 

We live on a bit of a hill, so the view from our deck involves surprisingly few houses, and lots of trees, peeks of distant mountains, and a painted sky every evening at sunset. Last night was especially beautiful, and the fact that it was lightly raining, our bellies were full of our amazing homemade pizza, and I had that cute husband of mine holding my hand made it the best.

I'm looking forward to many more lovely summer (and fall and winter and spring) evenings with him. He makes my life pretty darn happy indeed.

Better enjoy the beautiful summer while it lasts... I am not ready to trade my summer wardrobe of t-shirts/sweats for dresses/skirts once seminary starts, but I guess I'll probably survive. Wish me luck! ;)

Life update

I feel like I haven't been posting much about life lately, besides trip reports and such. This might be because things are kind of... uneventful right now. Nonetheless, here is a brief report on the very exciting lives of the Mr. and Mrs. Durfinator household.

Dallin: 

• Brings home the bacon every day. Not literal bacon, unfortunately, but he provides me the moola to buy it and that's just as good  because we still get bacon just the same. And come on... who doesn't like bacon? (Answer: no one that isn't in denial.) On a more serious note, I really am thankful for Dallin and his good job. I'm especially thankful that I will be able to stay at home with our kids in the future. Very blessed. 
• Goes canyoneering when he/we can, which is pretty often. 
• Does a great job in the Spanish branch presidency. At least, I think he does. And I'm definitely not biased or anything. Also, the fact that I think it's really attractive when he speaks Spanish absolutely doesn't influence my opinion at all. Nope.
• Is the best husband I could have asked for. Really though, he's a keeper and I'm very lucky he was crazy enough to want to marry me.

Mikaela:

• Unemployed, at least for now. I'm finding that this has its perks, meaning I love having time to read, sew, and do what I want. I'm taking advantage of it since I know it won't last.
• Busy getting ready for seminary to start. We have a new curriculum that I am SO excited about. It is going to make things so much easier on me and I think it works with my teaching style much better than the old manuals. Also, 8 of the mastery scriptures are different... whaaaaat? 
• Trying to become a better pianist. In other words, I'm trying to add a few songs to the list of 5-6 that I know since I'm the pianist in the Spanish branch and I'm pretty sure I'm not the only one that is getting tired of singing the same songs over and over and over. It's kind of hard though since I pretty much taught myself, meaning I stink. I am improving though, slowly but surely. Emphasis on the "slowly" part.
• Preparing to die during this weekend's heatwave. (I'm definitely not melodramatic or anything.) Living in the cool mountains my whole life has made me dread any temperatures over 95, and it will be well over that. Yes, I am a pansy, but seriously. I think the earth should have a temperature limit of 85 degrees max. Thank the heavens above for A/C... and popsicles.
• Goes canyoneering most of the time with Dallin. Not always though, because sometimes I wimp out on the really strenuous ones, especially when it is hot. (see above)

Even though things are fairly uneventful, life is good. Very good indeed. 

Roman theater ruins in Spain

A very attractive picture of us on our most recent adventure. We're pretty smoking hot.

A pearl beyond price

Today I re-watched this talk by Elder L. Whitney Clayton from General Conference and it got me thinking (again) about happiness and success in marriage. 

I've often wondered what happens to two people who seem(ed) so in love that causes them to lose that spark or even get divorced. Now that I am married, I find myself pondering more often about what the difference is between a happy marriage and an unhappy marriage. I never want us to lose that spark. We have made covenants to be faithful to each other for time and eternity, and that is really, really long time to spend with someone you don't adore, don't you think? I'm really thankful to be a member of the LDS church and to have grown up in a good family. Both of these things have helped me learn from a young age how to have a good marriage.

While there are many factors that can determine success of marriage, I believe the most important one is the mutual willingness to put your marriage and your spouse first. This means remembering that your marriage is special. It is precious. It should never be put on the back burner, not for any reason. It should always be your number one priority. 

Elder Clayton articulates my thoughts on this subject much better. Here's a quote from the talk I mentioned earlier:

"I have observed that in the happiest marriages both the husband and wife consider their relationship to be a pearl beyond price, a treasure of infinite worth. They both leave their fathers and mothers and set out together to build a marriage that will prosper for eternity. They understand that they walk a divinely ordained path. They know that no other relationship of any kind can bring as much joy, generate as much good, or produce as much personal refinement. Watch and learn: the best marriage partners regard their marriages as priceless." 

Those are wise words, and I know they are true. Never take your marriage or spouse for granted. Just as Elder Clayton said in his talk (which might be the most shared quote from conference!), marriage truly is a gift from God. Treat it like one.

(via)

One year down, an eternity to go

Yesterday was our first anniversary! Believe it or not, my dear husband has managed to put up with living in the same house as me for an entire year... and I think he might even like me still. ;) 

(Photo by Mechelle Felsted)

(Photo by my lovely mama)

To celebrate, we went on a little weekend getaway last weekend, and then had a fancy candlelit dinner last night. Here's some pictures. 

Dallin is a master cheesecake maker. Yep, I'm lucky. :)

I also happen to think he is really cute, so I took quite a few pictures of him while he was making it. Be thankful I only posted a few. 

I didn't take very many pictures of us making dinner. We were both too hungry to think about that!

I'm thankful for our sweet blinds that made it dark enough for a candlelit dinner at 3 in the afternoon... haha. 

Purty!

Photo courtesy of our good friend... le self timer. :)

Awwww. 

We made Macaroni Grill's penne rustica for dinner. Time consuming, but so worth it. 

Fun fact: this is what Dallin made me on our first date. Apparently it worked. ;)

Cheesecake and chocolate dipped strawberries for dessert. Oh, so good.

Man, do I love this guy. Maybe one day I'll figure out why he was crazy enough to marry me, but I'm sure glad he did. He's a keeper. :) 

Happy anniversary, darlin'! You're my favorite.

Warm weather, frisbees, and hot air balloons

Today was a beautiful day. Temperature in the 60s, sunny, beautiful, and perfect. I can't believe it's January. 

The weather was far too perfect to stay inside, so once my handsome husband got off work we went for a walk around the park. It's a good time to hold hands and talk and be cute 'n stuff. ;) Plus we get some much needed exercise. 

Did I mention it was perfect? :) I love Arizona. 

We threw the frisbee around for a few minutes too. We first met at an ultimate frisbee game so playing with him always brings back happy memories. :) I can't believe it's been more than 2 years since that chilly October night! I sure am glad I braved the cold. 

On our way back to the car, we spotted a red hot air balloon and I decided to be a crazy person and chase it. 

And guess what? I got lucky and found it just after it landed so I got to get a closer look at it and see them take it down! Here's some pictures. :)

There is something that intrigues me about hot air balloons. I cant imagine what it would be like to be in a little basket up in the sky at the mercy of the wind. I've flown in planes before, but I'm sure this is so different. I would love to ride in one someday, but then again just the thought of being one or two thousand feet above the ground makes me a little dizzy!

I'm not really sure what the point of this post is, but man, I sure do love evenings like this. I love being married to someone that is both my husband and my best buddy. I get to hang out with him every day and wake up next to his handsome face every morning, and that is just the bee's knees (whatever that means). ;) 

He's a keeper

(Written Friday night)

Today was a particularly rough day at work.

I got cussed out a couple times by upset customers, even though none of their problems were my fault. I was on the phone with customer service for 2 straight hours, and that was just one of the many calls I made today. (I kind of hate customer service... Can't live with 'em, can't live without 'em.) I was so busy doing customer service stuff that I hardly sold anything, and since I earn most of my pay through commission that means I made hardly any money today. That's just the beginning too... lots of other things happened that I honestly don't even want to talk about. It was pretty bad.

Just after helping a particularly difficult customer, I noticed I had a message on my phone. It was the sweetest, sincerest little love note from my husband. He just wanted to let me know that he cares about me and that I mean so much to him. Yep, you are reading the blog of the luckiest girl in the world. :)

I'm so thankful for a husband that really, truly loves me and wants what is best for me. I'm thankful that he takes such good care of me and always puts our marriage first. I'm thankful that he is patient with me. I'm thankful that he is loyal. I'm thankful he is mine. 

I'm especially thankful that he is temple worthy so we could be married in the temple for time and all eternity. Really, I can't think of anything better than being with my best friend for ever and ever and ever and ever. 

Thanks to him, even the particularly rough days aren't so bad after all. :)

D-backs game

Mesa Temple

On set of the latest Weeber and Judd video. :) Ain't he handsome? 

Anyway, I think C.S. Lewis says what I'm trying to say the best:

"Affection is responsible for nine-tenths of whatever 

solid and durable happiness there is in our lives."

-C. S. Lewis

Три месяца! (Three months!)

It's been three months since this happened:

This was such a happy day. It was also very stressful, busy, long, and exhausting... but so good. I know I was really happy then, but it just gets better every day. I sure got lucky. :)

Happy anniversary, Weeber! You're the best. :)

Blow guns, monkey bread, and clean windows

Last night we had some fun with the awesome blow guns that someone gave us for our wedding.
These things are addicting! I've been playing with mine all morning.

I like that the shadow above his head kind of looks like an afro. :)

Household items immediately became targets... naturally. At least for Dallin. ;)

Also, when he shot this tack it ricocheted off the candle on the left 

(see that little nick where it hit?) before sticking into the candle on the right. 

He was pretty proud of himself. :)

After a few minutes of goofing around with the tack, we set up a target and got serious.

Part of the reason we set up the target was the fact that we lost the tack somewhere, and also because I knew I had a much higher chance of hitting the target (or at least the box... haha) than a candle. ;) 

I definitely need to practice... haha. At least I did get that beaver on this round! 

(Mine are the orange/red darts, by the way)

Nicely done, babe!

We go on one planned date every week, but I love evenings like this where we start doing really random and spontaneous and have such a good time just being weirdos together. I'm still not sure how I got so lucky. I really, really like this guy. :) I love having fun with him every day. 

It seems like every post has something food related... I wouldn't want to break that streak today, would I? ;) I made some delicious monkey bread yesterday. Here's the recipe I used. It takes a looooong time to make since it has to rise twice, but it's worth it. Cream cheese frosting on top makes it ever better! 

Then again, cream cheese frosting makes everything better...

Plus, it is completely FAT FREE!

(Except the opposite... :P)

Last but not least, this video is awesome and you should watch it. :) It's really funny, but also makes some very good points. I know I need to work on always "keeping my windows clean". 

It's based on a story that President Thomas S. Monson, the president of my church, told in October 2010. You can find the whole talk here.  Here's one of my favorite parts:

"Charity is having patience with someone who has let us down. It is resisting the impulse to become offended easily. It is accepting weaknesses and shortcomings. It is accepting people as they truly are. It is looking beyond physical appearances to attributes that will not dim through time. It is resisting the impulse to categorize others."

-President Thomas S. Monson 

Happy a happy day! :)

-M