Pregnancy Problems

Well, I'm still pregnant, very much so. Since I'm a little cranky today and starting to feel like I am going to be pregnant forever, I figured a little humor was in order. 

And so, without further ado, I present to you: Pregnancy Problems, gif style.

Whenever I have to go anywhere:

(...and a bra.)

As soon as I get home (after removing all unnecessary clothing, obviously):




What I want to do all day, erryday:




Whenever I go near anything with this big belly of mine:




Going to church when 9 months pregnant:

When I sneeze while walking and don't have to change my pants:



When strangers come up and touch my belly:




When the dishes are piling up in precariously balanced mountains all around the kitchen:



How I felt every morning when I was still teaching early morning seminary in my 3rd trimester:

(I really miss being a morning person.)

When someone tells me an old wive's tale and then I realize they believe in it:




When someone asks me if I know how little sleep I'll be getting in the future:

Wait, you mean I'm going to have to take care of
this human, even in the middle of the night? Gasp!

When someone feels the need to share a scary birth or pregnancy story about their cousin's roommate's sister's ex-step-aunt-in-law-once-removed:



And last of all.... When I think about the cute little babe I'm going to get to love on in (hopefully) just a few days:



Get here soon, baby boy!

A small price to pay

Let me be perfectly honest: I underestimated pregnancy. I heard many tales of the adventures that accompany growing a human being, but I always thought they were a wee bit exaggerated. C'mon, being pregnant can't really affect you that much... right?

WRONG.

It began with nausea. I was lucky enough to only throw up a handful of times, but that didn't mean I didn't feel sick as a dog the rest of the time, because I absolutely did. 

Even just thinking about food made me feel like this:

 

I pretty much lived off of Honey Bunches of Oats for the first 16 weeks of my pregnancy since that grossed me out the least. 

Then, just as suddenly as the nausea came, it was replaced with these feelings:







People often ask me, "So, have you been craving anything?"

My answer? "Yes. All the food."

Seriously. I just want to eat everything in the house, all day, erryday. Thank the heavens above this includes a lot of healthy food (pomegranates and tomatoes and cuties, oh my!), but I've also grown weak when it comes to chocolate, ice cream, oreos, and pretty much everything on the Sonic menu. 

It's a problem. 

I resolve to cut it out, and I'm good for a few days, but then a craving hits me for [insert your unhealthy food of choice here, I've probably craved it at one point] and the Veruca Salt within me breaks loose. 

MUST HAVE [unhealthy food of choice] NOW.



A trip to the store with my patient husband (bless that man) usually follows immediately thereafter, and happiness is restored.



Sometimes the baby just needs ice cream, you know? NEEDS IT.

The aforementioned nausea was accompanied with intense pregnancy fatigue. It would hit me so unexpectedly that sometimes I felt like a narcoleptic. 



I spent a lot of time on the couch or in bed those first 16 weeks or so. A lot. 

One of the main things I thought must be exaggerated about pregnancy was the mood swings. Oh boy, was that was a rude awakening. I used to think of myself as a pretty emotionally stable woman. I am was generally capable of keeping myself together. 

Ah, those were the days, my friends. Those were the days. Now, I can go from euphoric happiness to a weepy mess at the drop of a hat.

Just in case you don't believe me (and because I have no shame), here are a few things that have made me cry during pregnancy:
-All the pans were dirty when I wanted mac and cheese.
-This Michael Jackson marching band video. Yes, really.
-My favorite sweats were in the washer when I wanted to wear them.
-And the worst, most perplexing one of all... absolutely nothing. 





But the biggest thing I underestimated about pregnancy was how fulfilling, mind-blowing, and exciting it would be to think about the miracle happening inside my stretching belly. I'm making a human being. That thought still leaves me in awe. 

I also didn't know how sweet it would be to sit quietly, feeling my wee babe kick my hand, imagining what he will be like and what adventures are waiting for us. 

I didn't know I would already love him as much as I do.

And I didn't know how happy I would be to experience all the discomforts of pregnancy. It's a small price to pay, and I feel so grateful to be able to experience it all.

Just a little less than a month (give or take) until I get to meet my squishy little man-cub. I can't wait. 

Five quick takes

1. I wore heels to seminary today and nearly fell flat on my face when I tried to bend down to pick up a marker I dropped. Bending over is getting hard enough lately... I should have known that trying to do it when I have an extra 2-3 inches to go and a shifted center of gravity would be a joke! Silly, silly Mikaela.

2. I wish all Christmas songs made me as happy as the Hanukkah Song. Pure gold that never gets old. The end.

 

3. If you need a laugh, check out the reviews for these gummy bears on Amazon. I've never really liked gummy bears, but I don't think I'll ever be able to eat one again. Ever ever ever. (Oh, and lest you think I was shopping for a 5-lb bag of sugar-free gummy bears, lemme clarify that I found this because someone shared it on Facebook simply for the comedic value of said reviews, just saying. Haha!)

4. Most of the food I consumed today was peanut butter kiss cookies. I feel like I should be ashamed. Unfortunately, I'm ashamed to say that I'm not ashamed. I blame my husband for not coming home for lunch today, thus sending me into pregnant-couch-potato-with-no-motivation-to-make-food mode. ;)

5. While baking said cookies yesterday I managed to burn my wrist on the edge of the cookie sheet. It's shaping up to be a nice scar, so that's great because what better place to have a scar than on your wrist, right? I promise I'm not depressed, just remarkably prone to accidents lately. Promise.

Happy snippets

Seminary went better today than it has in a while. At least, I was more satisfied with my lesson than I have been lately, like I wrote about here a couple days ago. I'll never know whether my sleepy students got much out of it (#holidayweekendproblems) but at least I felt I did my best. To me, that is a victory, and I'm so thankful. I hope things keep improving from here on out.

I'm making big progress on the nursery! We should be ready to paint in a couple days (at the latest) and I've finished painting the ugly brass sliding closet doors. They turned out SO well and I'm really relieved! I was a little skeptical, but they look really nice and it's an enormous improvement on the whole room. Now I just hope that the thrifted glider I'm working on will turn out well too! We should be getting our crib and some other furniture this weekend and I can't wait to set it all up.

Dallin and I made pizza last night and it was amazing. I forgot how much I love that stuff. After a failure of a squirrel hunting trip with Marc and Becca (Dallin's brother and his wife) in which we didn't see one single squirrel, something I didn't think was possible, at least we ended the night with a big fat win. And yes, we are rednecks... and proud of it. ;) (Also, don't tell Dallin... but I'm slightly relieved we didn't get any because eating squirrel meat is definitely not something on my bucket list. I know I'll have to try it though!)

My sister is expecting twin girls due next month, and my youngest siblings still refer to the "babies" in my belly since they seem to think I'm having twins too. It seems like they think I've been gypped because they give me such a funny look when I tell them there is just one in there, not two. Pretty sure they are thinking, "You only got one? Geeze, what a ripoff." If it is a ripoff, it's a ripoff I'm okay with, thankyouverymuch. ;)

On a somewhat related note, Marc, Becca, and their little 2-month-old baby Levi have been living at our house while they work on getting moved into my in-law's empty house (they are on a mission in TX right now). I was facetiming my siblings the other day when my 4-year-old brother Luke saw Levi and ran off yelling, "Mikaela has her baby! Mikaela has her baby!!!!" The whole herd came a-running and were sorely disappointed to find that it wasn't actually my baby. Sorry, kiddos... He still needs to bake for about another three months! ;)

Lastly, please tell me you love this video as much as I do. Hahahaha!

(P.S. All the Captain Literally sketches they've done are excellent as well... if you haven't watched them, DO IT NOW. You're welcome.)



Happy Tuesday, errbody! Hope your holiday weekend was a good one!

U Can't Touch This

As of Sunday, I'm 24 weeks along! 

This baby boy is growing bigger and stronger every day! He is very wiggly and seems to enjoy sending big kicks my way whenever I'm trying to fall asleep. In fact, a couple times he kicked so hard that he woke me up when I was fast asleep. Stinker. Good thing I love him.

I finally caved and wore my new maternity pants yesterday for the first time. I've been using a hair tie wrapped around the buttonhole on my normal jeans to make them work for a little longer, but I've grown enough the past week or two that it just doesn't work anymore. Not comfortably, at least! They still fit me kind of weird, but they are so comfy I don't care. It's like wearing pajamas, and that, my friends, is something I can get behind. Yes sir. 

I've been feeling a hundred times more energized lately. I still have to rest a few times during the day, but that's a huge improvement. Yesterday I had a much-needed burst of energy and motivation and I got a lot of cleaning done that I've been putting off. My kitchen (especially my stove) is in much better shape than it has been my entire pregnancy, and it feels oh so good! The nesting urge must really be kicking in because I still have the itch to clean and organize today. Hopefully that means I'll make good progress on getting the upstairs bedroom ready to paint!

Besides what I mentioned already, everything is going pretty well! I only have a couple complaints. 

The main one is I'm not a fan (AT ALL) of having my belly rubbed my strangers like it's some magic lamp or I'm their pet dog. I'm already not a very touchy person, so having random people invite themselves to touch my belly is not my favorite thing about pregnancy. Not even close.

I have one thing to say to those people.

Just kidding... but seriously. 

Also, I'm glad I found a use for one of the ever-so-lovely outtakes from the pictures we took yesterday. 

So very attractive. ;) 

Have a happy Tuesday!

Ron Swanson, I love you

Today I sneezed more than twenty-five times during my seminary lesson. Twenty-five times. 

It was quite lovely, especially since I sneeze like a man. No really, I do. I stopped counting after 25 because by then my brain was too fuzzy to keep track. I'm not sure whether I am sick or have allergies. Maybe it's a combination of the two because I don't feel like I ever really got over the cold I had a month ago. All I know, is that I've been running on empty all month, I haven't been making any progress on my growing to-do list, and it's a little overwhelming.

And when life gets overwhelming there's only one thing to do. Spend your morning watching The Voice, eating three meals, and looking up funny Ron Swanson gifs to cheer up. Naturally. 

When I remember that I get to sleep in every day next week since there is no school. 

When I think about doing the dishes. Or wearing pants when I get home.

When I remember that I have leftover turkey, mashed potatoes, and gravy in the fridge since we had Thanksgiving #1 for Sunday dinner. 

When Dallin asks me what I did when he was at work.

How I feel about breakfast food. 

And all food, let's be honest. 

When I don't get anything productive done all day.

When I found my forgotten stash of Reese's in the fridge.

(BEST DAY EVER.)

Last of all, in honor of today's events...

Monday pick-me-up

Just in case you are as thrilled about the beginning of another week as I am. ;)

Also, this cracks me up every single time. Haha!
The first time I heard this story and saw him wiggle his ears was in a broadcast for all the stakes in Arizona several years ago. I laughed so hard my sides hurt. Oh, how I love both President Hinckley and President Monson! And oh, how excited I am for General Conference this weekend! :D

"My wife told me not to say that." 

Have a wonderful week!

Need a laugh today?

Then do yourself a favor and check this out.


Way too good. This makes me so happy every time I watch it, and you better believe I've watched it more than a few times today. It kills me every time!

I had an oral surgery earlier this year, and when I was waking up apparently I had a hard time getting my eyes to cooperate with each other. (P.S. You should see Dallin's impression of my confused, groggy face and wandering eyeballs. It's probably even funnier than I was in person.) Anyway, I was trying so hard to focus on Dallin but I couldn't stop seeing double for a little while.

Even though I only have a very faint, dream-like memory of this, and wasn't really all there at that point, Dallin says I smiled in his general direction and said, "Two Dallins? What could be better?" Annnnd then I conked out for a few more minutes before really coming back to life. I must really love him if I'm mushy even when I'm barely conscious, eh? That's nowhere near as great as the guy in this video but it still makes Dallin and I chuckle.

Happy Tuesday! :)

Pterodactyls, blackberry jam, and Duck Dynasty

Well, this week was a doozy. A real doozy. I am so thankful today is Friday. Rather than whine about everything that went screwy this week, although I am tempted, here's a list of five happy things. :)

1. We got to see our little jelly bean yesterday! Annnnd... I'm pretty sure I am going to give birth to a pterodactyl. Either that or a chicken.

(P.S. Here is an even more hilarious ultrasound picture... bahahaha!)

2. I needed to switch to a different OBGYN. Usually this would be no problem, but in a town that only has two of them and the one I wanted was supposedly not accepting new patients, it was kinda stressing me out a bit. That's a major understatement, by the way. If I couldn't switch I was going to have to find one somewhere else, and the idea of traveling to all my appointments didn't really appeal to me, but sticking with the one I have been seeing was not an option. 

A couple weeks ago I called to see if there was anything that they could do, anything at all. That's actually a really funny story, but long story short I guess sometimes being a somewhat emotionally unstable pregnant lady has its perks. I completely broke down in violent tears which conveniently touched the heart of the sweet receptionist who made it her personal mission to get me the good doctor. This week they called to let me know she decided to take me on, and I am so thankful for that. So thankful. She is much more supportive of the birth and pregnancy I want to have, and it really puts my mind at ease to have her as my doctor! 

3. I found a blackberry patch not to0 far away from our house and I picked enough to make a triple batch of jam. Now, homemade jam tastes much better on homemade bread, so I made my mama's whole wheat bread to go with it. It was so worth the time and effort to enjoy this deliciousness. Mmmmm... :)

4. Duck Dynasty started again this week! :D My husband and I are big fans. It's really nice to see a wholesome, hilarious, uplifting show for once... makes me happy, happy, happy. ;)

5. I get to visit my sister in CA very soon! I can't wait to go to the beach. As much as I love my mountains, there is something about the sand and the sea that makes me happy. P.S. She is pregnant with twin girls due about 2 months before our baby! So exciting! 

Happy Friday! :)

Five Hap-pay, Hap-pay, Hap-pay Things

I've been in a funk lately that I just can't seem to shake, so here are five happy things to replace the slightly disgruntled post I was writing (because ain't nobody got time for being disgruntled, right?).

Numero Uno: This video of me smashing an egg on my head.

This is what happens when my siblings and I get together. Yes, we are crazy, but the skin on my forehead does feel silky smooth now! ;)

Number 2: These pics from our hike on Saturday. 

This place was beautiful and I'm glad I went through the trouble of waterproofing and lugging along my good camera. 

Thank you Dallin, for being the only person in the world that is whiter than me!

Number 3: Studio C

Dallin and I are a little obsessed. They are just too good. This one is my favorite!

Number 4: Baby hands and dandelions

I made a surprise trip to visit my family a few days ago, and caught my sister E picking (and then squishing) dandelions for my mom. She melts my heart (and makes me exceedingly baby hungry).

Number 5: THE PIANO GUYS!!!!

We are headed to Mesa tonight to see them! Can you tell I'm a wee bit excited??? :D

That one time I hugged a Russian man

I spent a semester teaching English in Russia about a year and a half ago. Besides the fact that it is one of the coolest, most amazing experiences I've ever had, it was also a steady stream of fantastically awkward situations. Seriously, it was almost daily. I could probably start an entire blog just devoted to the many embarrassing moments I enjoyed whilst in Mother Russia. 

Nevertheless... there is one that takes the cake. 

Let me preface this by telling you a little bit about the bus situation in Voronezh. We had to take the bus if we wanted to go anywhere that was too far too walk, and that was pretty often. The buses are kind of small, have a distinct stench smell, and the windows are so dirty you usually can't see through them. Also, they tend to be extraordinarily crowded, meaning you are really lucky to get a seat. Usually you get the privilege of standing with your fellow passengers pressing you on every side. If you are really lucky, you might get squished between some stinky, fat Russian guys.

I got "lucky" a lot.

A typical Russian bus, except this one is too clean. Imagine it is covered in 20 years of grime.

Yes, he is talking on the phone which he answered right after he threw his cigarette out the window. I love Russia. 

One evening after school, three of us headed to the church to play some volleyball. All was going splendidly. Volleyball was every Friday night and signified the end of a week and the beginning of the wonderful weekend... yippee! We waltzed down to the bus stop and when our chariot arrived we climbed aboard.

It was pretty crowded, which was usual at this time of day. Unfortunately, I was so excited to get to volleyball that I forgot to get my 11 ruble (that's about 35 cents) bus fare ready so I could hand it to the driver on my way in. No matter, I said to myself. I'll just dig it out of my coin purse while we're driving and have someone pass it up.

The next few seconds are a bit of a blur. I took advantage of a red traffic light to release my grip on the one of the poles we relied on to stay upright so I could get my coin purse out. That was my fatal mistake. As luck would have it, the second I let go the bus lurched forward and I went careening with flailed arms towards the herd of people on the bus behind me. In my frantic attempts to catch myself, I managed to end up kneeling on the ground with my arms securely wrapped around the torso of a rather large Russian man and my face smashed in his soft, smelly belly.

Oh, sweet heavens above.

If one could die of embarrassment, I am confident I would have shriveled up right then and there. The split second I spent there felt like decades. I picked myself up, choked out an apology (Thankfully I knew how to do that in Russian), and then put the nail in the coffin by going into a fit of uncontrollable nervous laughter.

And that, my dear friends, is the first and last time I hugged a Russian man.