Pregnancy Problems

Well, I'm still pregnant, very much so. Since I'm a little cranky today and starting to feel like I am going to be pregnant forever, I figured a little humor was in order. 

And so, without further ado, I present to you: Pregnancy Problems, gif style.

Whenever I have to go anywhere:

(...and a bra.)

As soon as I get home (after removing all unnecessary clothing, obviously):




What I want to do all day, erryday:




Whenever I go near anything with this big belly of mine:




Going to church when 9 months pregnant:

When I sneeze while walking and don't have to change my pants:



When strangers come up and touch my belly:




When the dishes are piling up in precariously balanced mountains all around the kitchen:



How I felt every morning when I was still teaching early morning seminary in my 3rd trimester:

(I really miss being a morning person.)

When someone tells me an old wive's tale and then I realize they believe in it:




When someone asks me if I know how little sleep I'll be getting in the future:

Wait, you mean I'm going to have to take care of
this human, even in the middle of the night? Gasp!

When someone feels the need to share a scary birth or pregnancy story about their cousin's roommate's sister's ex-step-aunt-in-law-once-removed:



And last of all.... When I think about the cute little babe I'm going to get to love on in (hopefully) just a few days:



Get here soon, baby boy!

A small price to pay

Let me be perfectly honest: I underestimated pregnancy. I heard many tales of the adventures that accompany growing a human being, but I always thought they were a wee bit exaggerated. C'mon, being pregnant can't really affect you that much... right?

WRONG.

It began with nausea. I was lucky enough to only throw up a handful of times, but that didn't mean I didn't feel sick as a dog the rest of the time, because I absolutely did. 

Even just thinking about food made me feel like this:

 

I pretty much lived off of Honey Bunches of Oats for the first 16 weeks of my pregnancy since that grossed me out the least. 

Then, just as suddenly as the nausea came, it was replaced with these feelings:







People often ask me, "So, have you been craving anything?"

My answer? "Yes. All the food."

Seriously. I just want to eat everything in the house, all day, erryday. Thank the heavens above this includes a lot of healthy food (pomegranates and tomatoes and cuties, oh my!), but I've also grown weak when it comes to chocolate, ice cream, oreos, and pretty much everything on the Sonic menu. 

It's a problem. 

I resolve to cut it out, and I'm good for a few days, but then a craving hits me for [insert your unhealthy food of choice here, I've probably craved it at one point] and the Veruca Salt within me breaks loose. 

MUST HAVE [unhealthy food of choice] NOW.



A trip to the store with my patient husband (bless that man) usually follows immediately thereafter, and happiness is restored.



Sometimes the baby just needs ice cream, you know? NEEDS IT.

The aforementioned nausea was accompanied with intense pregnancy fatigue. It would hit me so unexpectedly that sometimes I felt like a narcoleptic. 



I spent a lot of time on the couch or in bed those first 16 weeks or so. A lot. 

One of the main things I thought must be exaggerated about pregnancy was the mood swings. Oh boy, was that was a rude awakening. I used to think of myself as a pretty emotionally stable woman. I am was generally capable of keeping myself together. 

Ah, those were the days, my friends. Those were the days. Now, I can go from euphoric happiness to a weepy mess at the drop of a hat.

Just in case you don't believe me (and because I have no shame), here are a few things that have made me cry during pregnancy:
-All the pans were dirty when I wanted mac and cheese.
-This Michael Jackson marching band video. Yes, really.
-My favorite sweats were in the washer when I wanted to wear them.
-And the worst, most perplexing one of all... absolutely nothing. 





But the biggest thing I underestimated about pregnancy was how fulfilling, mind-blowing, and exciting it would be to think about the miracle happening inside my stretching belly. I'm making a human being. That thought still leaves me in awe. 

I also didn't know how sweet it would be to sit quietly, feeling my wee babe kick my hand, imagining what he will be like and what adventures are waiting for us. 

I didn't know I would already love him as much as I do.

And I didn't know how happy I would be to experience all the discomforts of pregnancy. It's a small price to pay, and I feel so grateful to be able to experience it all.

Just a little less than a month (give or take) until I get to meet my squishy little man-cub. I can't wait. 

Ron Swanson, I love you

Today I sneezed more than twenty-five times during my seminary lesson. Twenty-five times. 

It was quite lovely, especially since I sneeze like a man. No really, I do. I stopped counting after 25 because by then my brain was too fuzzy to keep track. I'm not sure whether I am sick or have allergies. Maybe it's a combination of the two because I don't feel like I ever really got over the cold I had a month ago. All I know, is that I've been running on empty all month, I haven't been making any progress on my growing to-do list, and it's a little overwhelming.

And when life gets overwhelming there's only one thing to do. Spend your morning watching The Voice, eating three meals, and looking up funny Ron Swanson gifs to cheer up. Naturally. 

When I remember that I get to sleep in every day next week since there is no school. 

When I think about doing the dishes. Or wearing pants when I get home.

When I remember that I have leftover turkey, mashed potatoes, and gravy in the fridge since we had Thanksgiving #1 for Sunday dinner. 

When Dallin asks me what I did when he was at work.

How I feel about breakfast food. 

And all food, let's be honest. 

When I don't get anything productive done all day.

When I found my forgotten stash of Reese's in the fridge.

(BEST DAY EVER.)

Last of all, in honor of today's events...

Pterodactyls, blackberry jam, and Duck Dynasty

Well, this week was a doozy. A real doozy. I am so thankful today is Friday. Rather than whine about everything that went screwy this week, although I am tempted, here's a list of five happy things. :)

1. We got to see our little jelly bean yesterday! Annnnd... I'm pretty sure I am going to give birth to a pterodactyl. Either that or a chicken.

(P.S. Here is an even more hilarious ultrasound picture... bahahaha!)

2. I needed to switch to a different OBGYN. Usually this would be no problem, but in a town that only has two of them and the one I wanted was supposedly not accepting new patients, it was kinda stressing me out a bit. That's a major understatement, by the way. If I couldn't switch I was going to have to find one somewhere else, and the idea of traveling to all my appointments didn't really appeal to me, but sticking with the one I have been seeing was not an option. 

A couple weeks ago I called to see if there was anything that they could do, anything at all. That's actually a really funny story, but long story short I guess sometimes being a somewhat emotionally unstable pregnant lady has its perks. I completely broke down in violent tears which conveniently touched the heart of the sweet receptionist who made it her personal mission to get me the good doctor. This week they called to let me know she decided to take me on, and I am so thankful for that. So thankful. She is much more supportive of the birth and pregnancy I want to have, and it really puts my mind at ease to have her as my doctor! 

3. I found a blackberry patch not to0 far away from our house and I picked enough to make a triple batch of jam. Now, homemade jam tastes much better on homemade bread, so I made my mama's whole wheat bread to go with it. It was so worth the time and effort to enjoy this deliciousness. Mmmmm... :)

4. Duck Dynasty started again this week! :D My husband and I are big fans. It's really nice to see a wholesome, hilarious, uplifting show for once... makes me happy, happy, happy. ;)

5. I get to visit my sister in CA very soon! I can't wait to go to the beach. As much as I love my mountains, there is something about the sand and the sea that makes me happy. P.S. She is pregnant with twin girls due about 2 months before our baby! So exciting! 

Happy Friday! :)

Currently, I'm...

Loving: Life in general. This world is a pretty rad place, don't you think?

Stressing about: What I am going to get Dallin for his birthday in a few weeks. You guys, I am stumped. The man has everything he wants.

Looking forward to: Finishing up teaching seminary for the school year! Don't get me wrong, I love this calling, but it is a lot of work. A LOT. It's also a little more responsibility than I'm really comfortable with, but that just means it is really good for me, right?

P.S. Today we learned about the Armor of God in Ephesians 6. The assignment was to label the different pieces of armor mentioned in Ephesians 6:13-17, but I guess a couple of my students decided their soldiers needed a little more style... haha! 

Thankful for: A happy, healthy marriage. I don't know how I got so lucky.

Dreaming about: All the warm, sunny beaches that are calling my name. Hopefully I can visit my sister in CA soon to get my sand and sea fix!

Laughing about: This GIF. Skillz, man... skillz.

Eating: An obscene amount of Ben & Jerry's ice cream. It was on sale... I really can't be held responsible for buying 3 cartons!

Top 5 worst fears {Friday five}

I like to think of myself as a pretty fearless person, but I do have some things I am afraid of.
Here's five of the biggest ones. 

P.S. Don't judge me, I'm a weird person with some weird fears. ;)

1. Heights. 

This is kind of ironic since my husband and I love to canyoneer. Most of the canyons we do are technical, meaning they require rappelling and/or climbing, and quite a few of those rappels are pretty high. So far, the longest rappel I've done is about 200 feet. 

See little me at the top? I was probably about 1/2 of the way down at that point. Eeep!

And yet, even though we do this often, I am still pretty scared of heights. However, I do think I am slowly getting over it. Slowly. Also, I'm very thankful that I am totally fine with airplanes, tall amusement park rides, etc. 

But things like this make me very dizzy. 

And especially things like this. Oy.

These pictures could be scenes from my worst nightmares. Seriously. 

2. Getting abducted

Speaking of my worst nightmares, most of them involve big, scary guys and dark alleys. I have had some scary real life experiences that contribute to this fear too. I take several security measures to protect myself, and just do my best to stay safe but even so this will probably always be a fear of mine. 

3. Passing cars on 2-lane highways

This is pretty silly, but I am deathly afraid of passing anybody unless there are more than two lanes. I will do it on occasion, but only if the road is straight so I can see far ahead and there are no cars coming my way at all. It doesn't matter if the oncoming car is a mile away, I will not pass it. Dallin is not quite as patient as I am (and also isn't paranoid like me) so he will pass if he has enough time, even if there is oncoming traffic. Every time it absolutely terrifies me to be in the same lane as a car coming directly towards me at 55+ MPH. (shudder)

 My husband gets a kick out of this sometimes, and I can't blame him for laughing at his white-knuckled, wide-eyed, hyperventilating wife in the passenger seat freaking out about the car that is half a mile away from us. 

4. Being asked to play the piano/organ in church

I can count the piano lessons I've had on one hand. I taught myself quite a bit though, and I know how to play a handful of hymns. Unfortunately, even though I am not very good, there have been a few times when I had to play the piano at church functions and I was the seminary pianist (or co-pianist) all four years. It terrifies me. Usually I get through the first verse or two okay, but it is downhill from there! Ever since we got a piano I have been practicing, but let's just say I don't practice anywhere near enough... haha! I have a feeling that one of these days I'm going to be asked to be a Relief Society or Primary pianist. Maybe that will be what it takes to purge that fear. ;)

5. Swimming in the dark

Because obviously that is when all the scary water creatures come to the surface with their tentacles and sharp teeth to prey on unsuspecting humans. ;) This fear is totally irrational and very ridiculous, but even just thinking about being in dark water gives me the heebie jeebies. (Although I did swallow this fear once to play a game using glow sticks and water bottles at Lake Powell once, and it was a awsome.)

Well, there you have it. Do we share any of the same fears? Can we be phobia phriends? 

(Yeah, I think I'm pretty clever sometimes... heh heh)

And will you ever believe me if I say I'm really not living in fear all the time, even if this post makes it seem that way? :) 

Top five pet peeves {Friday Five}

Let's be honest. I have more than five pet peeves. ;)
 Here are just 5 of them (in no particular order).

1. Bad drivers.

Although I hate to admit it, I can have a bit of road rage at times, In my defense, I usually do keep my cool, and the extent of my "road rage" is just sticking out my tongue in their general direction or wishing a flock of large birds would pelt their car with some... surprises. 

But... on the inside, this is how I feel. 

2. Bad spelling and grammar

I'm not saying my spelling and grammar is perfect. No siree. I make some pretty stupid mistakes sometimes. It doesn't bother me at all when people misspell a word or two, or make some other error by accident. It happens to the best of us. I also think it's okay to take some creative liberties that sacrifice some grammatical rules, as long as it isn't too hard to read. What does bother me is when people make really simple, obvious mistakes, and then make them all the time. I'm amazed that these people made it past elementary school, and that some of them even became my college professors. 

If you ever want to make my soul die a little, just tell me something like, "I don't know weather I like you're blog, because you write wierd stuff their sometimes and its alot of gross stuff about how much you love you're husband and that definately is way TMI."

Also, I promise to put less mushy stuff, but I can't help it because my husband is pretty fantastic. Sorry. ;)

P.S. don't get me started on people who use the word "literally" incorrectly. Girl, if your heart is "literally breaking" then you should probably do something about it, like... call 911 maybe? ;)




3. Crude language

Few things disgust me as much as this does. One of the (many) reasons I quit my job a few months ago was the unceasing cursing and vulgar subject matter. It was never-ending, no matter how many times I nicely asked my co-workers to please stop talking about that stuff when I was around, or at least give me a heads up so I could plug my ears or go outside. It was miserable. Hearing the horrible things they said left me feeling filthy. Oh, I am so thankful I don't work there anymore. So thankful.

I have wanted to do this so many times.

4. Loud chewing

I am really trying to get over this one because it is a little ridiculous. Unfortunately, it seems like the older I get the more sensitive I am. I'm seriously concerned about what is going to happen when I am pregnant. Hopefully it doesn't get too serious or else I might be eating in seclusion for 9 months. ;)

5. These.








My response?



and



'Nuff said.

What are some of your biggest pet peeves?

P.S. If I we ever get a pet I shall name it Peeve so that I have a literal pet Peeve.

P.P.S. You should watch this. These guys are amazing.


Happy Friday!