It Wasn't Jet Lag

I felt really strange on Father's Day last year. Actually, I had been feeling off for several weeks, but I was certain it was just post-Spain jet lag since I had never recovered after getting home a couple weeks earlier. I had taken a pregnancy test about a week before, probably the 5,107th once I'd taken in the course of our marriage, so when the question came into my mind again that morning as I got dressed for church, I dismissed it immediately. I wasn't pregnant. I was sure of that. 

Then again, while playing the piano in our little Spanish branch, a wave of fatigue and nausea washed over me again. "This the worst jet lag I have ever had," I thought to myself. And after two trips to Russia in my life, 11 times zones away and far enough off the beaten path that it took 2-3 days to get there, that's saying something. Again the question came to my mind... could I be pregnant? I did the math in my head and realized it was quite possible that the test I had taken a week ago would have been a little too soon to come out positive, even if I were pregnant. But remember how I said I had taken 5,102 pregnancy tests? That means I'd thought I was pregnant at least 5,102 times, so even though I had my suspicions I had gone through so many tests that I didn't get my hopes up. Still, I decided I'd take another when I got home just in case.

I came home from church alone since Dallin had meetings afterward. I took a test, set it on the counter, and watched for the little line to appear, but to my surprise, there was not one... but two lines. 

Two lines.

I flipped out.

It is probably a good thing no one was home to see me jumping around like a crazy woman, but on the downside, that also meant I had no one to tell. Dallin was in meetings and I wanted to tell him (in person) before I told anyone else, so I made a ridiculous video that I will probably never allow anyone else to watch... but it makes to happy to remember how excited I was to find out we were expecting. I had reason to believe that there was a decent chance it could be difficult to get pregnant, and that made it even that much more exciting to get a positive test. I was also happy to have an explanation for what I thought was never-ending jet lag. 

I think the best part was when I breathlessly met Dallin at the door (I'd been impatiently waiting for what seemed like forever), said I had a Father's Day present to give him, and told him I was pregnant. I hope I always remember how happy Dallin looked and how excited we both were as we processed the news. That was a happy day indeed.

I have had so many happy moments since then too, but most of my favorite ones have to do with my little family. I've especially loved seeing Dallin become a daddy. He loves our little babe so much and it just about makes my heart explode to see him snuggle and play with him. 

I know I already posted this picture on my blog, but I just love it so much.

I'm a lucky lady to have found that husband of mine. He takes such good care of our little family and I love him all the more because of it. I'm also thankful for both our fathers; they have influenced our lives immensely through their examples. Happy Father's Day to all... and to all a good night. ;)

Are we there yet?

I'm struggling today. There's a lot on my mind that is stressing me out and I'm having a hard time dealing with it right now. I'm exhausted, both physically and emotionally, and ready to not be pregnant anymore. This silly baby just doesn't seem quite ready to come yet, no matter how hard I try to convince him otherwise. I really thought he'd be here by now, and it's becoming more and more difficult to be patient, especially since now I'm at the point where I need to make some decisions before my doctor's appointment tomorrow. 

Here are the top 3 scenarios we're looking at right now:

Option 1: Go into labor naturally, ideally soon. Like... maybe today? ;)

This would be very, very nice. For realsies. Unfortunately, it doesn't seem likely that this will happen. Who knows, though? Maybe it will! I hope so.

Pros: Everything, but especially the fact that it's more likely I could stick to my birth plan/wishes if this happened, and that would mean a lot to me. (Although I know the most important thing is to get my baby here safely, and I'm willing to do what it takes to make that happen... no matter what.) 

Cons: None. Come on, baby... let's do this! 

Option 2: Get induced Thursday or Friday. 

I'd rather not get induced, but my doctor doesn't want me to go past 41 weeks.

Pros: I'd be done this week. Dallin could take off Friday and then be with me the rest of the weekend.

Cons: I'd like to give my body a chance to start things on its own and maybe it just needs a couple more days... Thursday/Friday is pretty soon and I'll only be 40 weeks and 4-5 days along. Do I really want to be induced so early? I'd also end up spending much more time in the hospital. Not a big fan of that idea.

Option 3: Get induced Monday.

I am pretty sure I could convince my doctor (she's really reasonable and nice) to let me do this, even though it means I'll be going a few days over 41 weeks.

Pros: I'd have a little more time to (hopefully) get things going naturally. It's longer than my impatient self would like to wait, but I know that if you don't have complications (and thankfully I don't) there's usually no reason to be concerned about going a little past 41 weeks. 

Cons: Dallin will have a really hard time leaving work for very long, particularly at the beginning of the week when things are craziest. He is the only pharmacist and nothing can happen when he is gone. I know I'll be much more comfortable, happy, and calm with him there. I'm not worried about him missing the actual birth – I know he will be there for that, no matter what – but I really want him there before and after too. 

I know that things will all work out the way they are supposed to, but it sure would be nice to know how and when, you know? I'm ready to meet this little babe! Hopefully he will be ready to meet us soon.   

Also, if I only had a dime for every time I've been asked, "Are you still pregnant?" Oy.

Okay. Grumpy post over. 

On a happier note, here's some things I've been thankful for this week:

Daffodils

Beautiful, warm weather

XL t-shirts

Symphony chocolate bars (the ones with toffee and almonds, of course)

Facetime

Almost all of my dishes are clean, thanks to Dallin. Is there anything better?

I've been sleeping well still. Hallelujah!

My Les Mis and Simon & Garfunkel stations on Pandora. The best.

Orange juice

Uplifting blogs (especially this post)

Prayer

Wanna do me a favor? Are there any hilarious videos, articles, or other miscellaneous awesomeness floating around the interwebz I should be aware of? If so, you should send me the link. :) 

40 Weeks

Well, today is the day. February 16 is here at last, the date I've been looking forward and counting down to since I found out I was pregnant. I'm 40 weeks pregnant today... and very much ready to have this baby. 

Unfortunately it seems that he isn't quite ready to make his grand appearance just yet. Little stinker.

I'm trying to be patient. I want him to come when he is good and ready. At the same time, I am becoming a little antsy. I hope he decides to come soon since I would really like to avoid being induced if possible. Pregnancy really has been much more enjoyable and easy than I was expecting, but after 40 weeks I think I'm ready to not be pregnant any more, you know what I mean? It's time this baby got evicted from his entirely-too-comfortable (for him) abode. At least I know he will for sure be here within a week since my doctor doesn't want me to go over 41 weeks. I'm also grateful I didn't get to the "enough-of-this-pregnancy-bizness-get-this-baby-outta-here" stage until this past week. Very grateful indeed.

It's weird to see these two pictures side-by-side... the beginning and the end. It seems like that first picture was taken ages ago. I can barely remember what it was like to not be pregnant. It's going to be weird to not have a little alien swimming around in my belly anymore. I'm going to miss it, I'm sure. 

See you soon, baby boy! 

Pregnancy Problems

Well, I'm still pregnant, very much so. Since I'm a little cranky today and starting to feel like I am going to be pregnant forever, I figured a little humor was in order. 

And so, without further ado, I present to you: Pregnancy Problems, gif style.

Whenever I have to go anywhere:

(...and a bra.)

As soon as I get home (after removing all unnecessary clothing, obviously):




What I want to do all day, erryday:




Whenever I go near anything with this big belly of mine:




Going to church when 9 months pregnant:

When I sneeze while walking and don't have to change my pants:



When strangers come up and touch my belly:




When the dishes are piling up in precariously balanced mountains all around the kitchen:



How I felt every morning when I was still teaching early morning seminary in my 3rd trimester:

(I really miss being a morning person.)

When someone tells me an old wive's tale and then I realize they believe in it:




When someone asks me if I know how little sleep I'll be getting in the future:

Wait, you mean I'm going to have to take care of
this human, even in the middle of the night? Gasp!

When someone feels the need to share a scary birth or pregnancy story about their cousin's roommate's sister's ex-step-aunt-in-law-once-removed:



And last of all.... When I think about the cute little babe I'm going to get to love on in (hopefully) just a few days:



Get here soon, baby boy!

I have a problem.

In case you've missed the somewhat obnoxious amount of pregnancy talk around this little old blog of mine (That's just all I think about nowadays... #sorrynotsorry), I'm having a baby. Like... any day now. I'm a baby making time bomb. 

Now. I've been pregnant for a long time. 38.5 weeks, to be precise. I've also known that I wanted to have children since... well, since as long as I can remember. Even though I can hardly believe that the time is (pretty much) already here, I can't say I haven't been looking forward to it for quite some time. I've been preparing in many ways over the past 20-something years to have this kiddo. I'm as ready as I'll ever be. My bag is packed, the nursery is ready, I've got some freezer meals ready to go, I'm stocked up on a few months worth of household supplies, I've read the birthing books I wanted to read, many prayers have been prayed, many deep breaths taken, and it's pretty much just a waiting game from here on out. 

Except for one thing: I still don't know what the heck we're going to name this child. 

I had no idea it would be such a task to pick out a name, but when you look at the criteria it needs to fit I guess it isn't a surprise. 

• We both have to like it (and apparently we're both pickier than we thought)
• It can't be too popular or trendy
• First name must be more than one syllable 
• Initials can't spell out anything weird (and there's a lot of three-letter words that end in D, by the way. Sad. Mad. Bad. Dad. Fad. Wad. Lid. Kid. God. Bed. You get the idea.)
• We can't have any negative associations with the name (Who knew there were so many people we didn't like? Just kidding... kind of.)
• No gender neutral names
• Nothing too difficult to pronounce or spell
• Something that won't sound ridiculous when he's a grown-up

I'm sure there's more, but those are the main requirements. Basically, we both want something that is a good, solid, dependable name... yet isn't overused. 

In other words, we'll probably end up just giving our kids numbers instead of names. Why not simplify things, right? 

Or maybe when we meet him one of the names we've been throwing around will just click. I hope so. 

Just in case... any suggestions? Any other good websites beside whatalovelyname.com and nameberry.com?

Also, it's a good thing our last name isn't "Knight" or else my husband might be tempted. 

38 weeks

"Any day now."

Every time I say those three words (which has been a lot lately, considering how often people have been asking me when this baby is a-comin'), it kind of blows my mind a bit. Am I really just a mere two weeks away from my due date? It is actually February already? Am I really going to have a baby, like within the next couple weeks? Whaaaat?

It's crazy... but the best kind of crazy. I'm so excited to finally meet the little stinker who has been kicking my ribs and punching my bladder for the past 9 months. 

Not much has changed since my last pregnancy update a month ago. I'm still feeling surprisingly well, for which I'm very, very thankful! I didn't sleep very well this week, but I think that had a lot more to do with a nasty sinus infection than pregnancy. I'm still not very swollen, at least not enough to keep me from wearing normal shoes or my wedding ring, and I don't have an outie belly button (although there's definitely time for that to change... haha!). 

People kept telling me about how terribly uncomfortable I would get the last trimester, so uncomfortable that I would be so ready to not be pregnant anymore, but I haven't gotten to that point yet. I'll be just fine if he decides to wait until his due date (or even a little longer) to make his grand appearance. 

On the other hand, it will be pretty nice to longer have this big 'ol baby squishing my innards. I'm also really looking forward to sleeping on my stomach and wearing normal clothes again. 

Oh yeah, and having a cute little babe to love on, of course. ;)

Now I just hope my delivery goes as smoothly as my pregnancy has. We shall see!

Blargh.

A few things I'm grateful for today:

• Antibiotics
• Herbal tea
• Homemade chicken soup
• Ice cold orange juice
• THE comfiest sweater ever (bought on sale). I have worn it almost daily since fall because I love it almost as much as my husband and maybe even a little more than Krispy Kreme. That's a lot, in case you were wondering. A LOT.

37 weeks, 5 days

• Long hot showers
• Humidifiers
• The luxury of being a bum all day with just myself to take care of. I crawled back in bed after Dallin went to work and slept for another 3 hours. It was glorious.
• The fact that it looks like I *should* be able to kick this sickness before going into labor (knock on wood!)
• Cough drops with pep talks

In other words, I'm sick and have been all week. Ready for the incessant pounding in my head to disappear. Hoping and praying it does before I have this baby. Thankful to be getting better, even if it feels like it's happening slower than the proverbial molasses in January. Since it won't be January tomorrow, maybe I'll be better then, no? 

(Side note: holy toledo it is really February tomorrow!? WHAT.)

Okay. Pity party over. Mikaela out. 

A small price to pay

Let me be perfectly honest: I underestimated pregnancy. I heard many tales of the adventures that accompany growing a human being, but I always thought they were a wee bit exaggerated. C'mon, being pregnant can't really affect you that much... right?

WRONG.

It began with nausea. I was lucky enough to only throw up a handful of times, but that didn't mean I didn't feel sick as a dog the rest of the time, because I absolutely did. 

Even just thinking about food made me feel like this:

 

I pretty much lived off of Honey Bunches of Oats for the first 16 weeks of my pregnancy since that grossed me out the least. 

Then, just as suddenly as the nausea came, it was replaced with these feelings:







People often ask me, "So, have you been craving anything?"

My answer? "Yes. All the food."

Seriously. I just want to eat everything in the house, all day, erryday. Thank the heavens above this includes a lot of healthy food (pomegranates and tomatoes and cuties, oh my!), but I've also grown weak when it comes to chocolate, ice cream, oreos, and pretty much everything on the Sonic menu. 

It's a problem. 

I resolve to cut it out, and I'm good for a few days, but then a craving hits me for [insert your unhealthy food of choice here, I've probably craved it at one point] and the Veruca Salt within me breaks loose. 

MUST HAVE [unhealthy food of choice] NOW.



A trip to the store with my patient husband (bless that man) usually follows immediately thereafter, and happiness is restored.



Sometimes the baby just needs ice cream, you know? NEEDS IT.

The aforementioned nausea was accompanied with intense pregnancy fatigue. It would hit me so unexpectedly that sometimes I felt like a narcoleptic. 



I spent a lot of time on the couch or in bed those first 16 weeks or so. A lot. 

One of the main things I thought must be exaggerated about pregnancy was the mood swings. Oh boy, was that was a rude awakening. I used to think of myself as a pretty emotionally stable woman. I am was generally capable of keeping myself together. 

Ah, those were the days, my friends. Those were the days. Now, I can go from euphoric happiness to a weepy mess at the drop of a hat.

Just in case you don't believe me (and because I have no shame), here are a few things that have made me cry during pregnancy:
-All the pans were dirty when I wanted mac and cheese.
-This Michael Jackson marching band video. Yes, really.
-My favorite sweats were in the washer when I wanted to wear them.
-And the worst, most perplexing one of all... absolutely nothing. 





But the biggest thing I underestimated about pregnancy was how fulfilling, mind-blowing, and exciting it would be to think about the miracle happening inside my stretching belly. I'm making a human being. That thought still leaves me in awe. 

I also didn't know how sweet it would be to sit quietly, feeling my wee babe kick my hand, imagining what he will be like and what adventures are waiting for us. 

I didn't know I would already love him as much as I do.

And I didn't know how happy I would be to experience all the discomforts of pregnancy. It's a small price to pay, and I feel so grateful to be able to experience it all.

Just a little less than a month (give or take) until I get to meet my squishy little man-cub. I can't wait. 

Baby Shower

I got spoiled this weekend at the baby shower my sweet sister-in-law put on for me this weekend. It turned out so well, thanks to everyone who helped and came! 

There was lots of delicious food, which is always a very important part of a successful party... 

(I just wish I got a picture of it before we got started!)

Lots of good friends and family, including some that came from out of town...

(Jacquie, Jen, and #grantlyman)

(Michelle and Melanie)

(We all ended up hanging out by the food instead of migrating to the living room. That's my kind of party.)

Some very entertaining games...

(Baby food guessing game. I failed miserably.)

(The Price is Right)

(Baby name guessing game, just using letters from our names. I'm totally rooting for Dakaela.)

And of course, lots of loot!

I'm thankful to have such generous, thoughtful friends. 

I don't think I ended up with a single thing to take back.

It's been so much fun stocking up the nursery with all the gifts I was given. Everything just keeps getting more real every day, especially now that we've pretty much got everything we needed/wanted, and I'm thankful that I'm growing a little less anxious the closer February 16 grows. I can't wait to bring my little man home and begin this crazy new adventure.

34 weeks down, 6 to go

So I think I might be pregnant. Just a hunch. ;)

The past few weeks, I've gone from "I don't feel very pregnant" to "good, not great" to "ah, so that's why pregnant women start throwing around the description 'beached whale' in their last stages of pregnancy". I'm definitely pregnant, and feeling more so every day, but I'm still not as uncomfortable as I was expecting to be at this point (knock on wood). Hopefully that lasts for the next month and a half, give or take. On a related note, I can hardly believe that I can now say that he is coming next month, if not sooner. It is getting so close! 

Reality has really been sinking in lately. There's really a baby in there, and he is really coming, ready or not. In just a few short weeks there will be an itty bitty human being waking us (me) up in the middle of the night, expecting us (me) to do ridiculous things like feed him and change his diapers, almost like he is, I don't know... completely dependent on us (me) or something. 

Psh. Silly baby.

Good thing we love him already. 

Warm Fuzzies

Christmas is just a few days away... yippee! This has always been my favorite holiday. Everything about just makes me happy inside.

Unfortunately, it seems like there hasn't been enough "warm fuzzies" going around the interwebz lately. I don't know about you, but I'd much rather be thinking about happy, Christmas-y, festive goodness than all the controversial topics that have become the focus the past couple weeks. Thus, here are some of the things that have been giving me the warm fuzzies recently, just in case you need something to get you in the Christmas spirit too. 

1. Dallin sung in our former ward today so I went as well. In that ward, there is a sweet boy who has Down's syndrome that was ordained a deacon not long before we were called to the Spanish branch. One of the duties of being a deacon is passing the sacrament, and it melts my heart to see one of his fellow deacons gently guiding him around the chapel with his arm over his shoulder so he can participate. It always makes me think of Christ and how he helps me handle things that I can't do alone. I love it.

2. This video. If this doesn't make you feel warm and fuzzy inside, you just might be the Grinch himself.

Life is so much better when you are kinder to people around you, whether you think you deserve it or not, and is there any better way to get in the spirit of Christmas than that? 

3. Ingrid Michaelson's version of "I've Got My Love To Keep Me Warm." It's chock full of happiness. (I'm not sure how legit this website is, but you can listen to it here)

4. Baby boy's wild movements are becoming more recognizable, like maybe there is actually a baby in there instead of an octopus (whew!). It's starting to sink in that he is coming very soon, ready or not. I'm so excited. Whenever I think about this wee babe of mine and how blessed I feel to be pregnant (something I wasn't sure I would get to experience), I get overwhelmed with happiness. Life is so very good. I can't wait for next Christmas, when there will be three of us instead of two.

5. This, which might be my very favorite Christmas song.

I especially love these lines:

Chains shall He break for the slave is our brother
And in His name all oppression shall cease

Sweet hymns of joy in grateful chorus raise we

Let all within us praise His holy name

I'm so thankful for my Savior. He means everything to me, and I owe all the happiness, hope, and peace in my life to him. Even though I know I could never repay him for what he does for me, I know I can at least try to help those around me and become a better person, and isn't that what this season is all about? (That, and cookies. Always cookies. The end.)

Have a merry little Christmas! 

Two short stories, one wiggly baby

Apparently baby boy isn't a big fan of sharing his mom. Every time Dallin snuggles with me the little goose starts going berserk, almost as if he thinks he can get his daddy to leave if he kicks him hard enough. 

It hasn't worked yet. I just start giggling which wiggles him around and probably gets him even more excited. 

(30 weeks, 4 days)

Silly, silly baby.

In other news, I had a bit of an adventure yesterday. Baby's heart rate was a little high at my doctor's appointment, and since it didn't go down after a couple of minutes my OBGYN sent me to the hospital for a non-stress test. Everything seems to be fine, thankfully. It was probably a combination of my lack of a good breakfast (maybe having appointments so soon after seminary isn't a good idea) and the fact that he was very, very wiggly. His pulse would go down to a good rate, then it would go up when he was kicking at the monitors, and then it would go back down again. I wasn't having any contractions and everything else looked good so they discharged me pretty quickly after giving me something to eat and drink.

Even though everything was fine, being strapped up to a bunch of monitors in a delivery bed wasn't my favorite. My imagination started running wild and when I considered the possibility of delivering my baby so soon (an irrational fear, but a fear nonetheless) I got so anxious. If anything were to happen to this little babe of mine... I don't even want to think about it. I'm so thankful for a healthy pregnancy and a healthy baby that seems to be a-baking just fine. I hope he keeps on doing just that for a couple more months!

Five quick takes

1. I wore heels to seminary today and nearly fell flat on my face when I tried to bend down to pick up a marker I dropped. Bending over is getting hard enough lately... I should have known that trying to do it when I have an extra 2-3 inches to go and a shifted center of gravity would be a joke! Silly, silly Mikaela.

2. I wish all Christmas songs made me as happy as the Hanukkah Song. Pure gold that never gets old. The end.

 

3. If you need a laugh, check out the reviews for these gummy bears on Amazon. I've never really liked gummy bears, but I don't think I'll ever be able to eat one again. Ever ever ever. (Oh, and lest you think I was shopping for a 5-lb bag of sugar-free gummy bears, lemme clarify that I found this because someone shared it on Facebook simply for the comedic value of said reviews, just saying. Haha!)

4. Most of the food I consumed today was peanut butter kiss cookies. I feel like I should be ashamed. Unfortunately, I'm ashamed to say that I'm not ashamed. I blame my husband for not coming home for lunch today, thus sending me into pregnant-couch-potato-with-no-motivation-to-make-food mode. ;)

5. While baking said cookies yesterday I managed to burn my wrist on the edge of the cookie sheet. It's shaping up to be a nice scar, so that's great because what better place to have a scar than on your wrist, right? I promise I'm not depressed, just remarkably prone to accidents lately. Promise.

I'm going to miss this

My little man-child has been getting bigger and stronger the last couple of weeks. That silly boy seems to be under the impression that my bladder is a trampoline, my ribs are monkey bars, and my innards are punching bags. But not all the time... usually just when I'm trying to sleep or in urgent need of a restroom, of course. 

It's lots of fun. And while that sounds sarcastic, I sincerely mean it. I love feeling (and sometimes seeing) him wiggle around, especially as he gets bigger.

While I was sitting on the couch this morning feeling him do his morning workout, I started thinking about how quickly February is coming up. My due date is 11 weeks from tomorrow, or 78 days, or 2 months and 17 days... not that I'm counting. ;) That's not that far away, not at all.

Part of me can't wait to meet him, but at the same time I'm going to miss this.

I'm going to miss trying to figure out what the heck is going on in there when he is really squirming up a storm inside my belly, and wondering if I'm actually going to give birth to an octopus. 

I'm going to miss having ultrasounds and trying to see what (and who) he will look like. 

I'm going to miss the quiet moments when I can't help but stare at my belly, overwhelmed with awe at the miracle of life that is happening inside me and how blessed I feel to be a woman and a mother. 

28 weeks, 6 days today. I may or may not have changed back into my PJs after my
shower and have absolutely no intention of changing into anything else all day. The end.

And that makes all the unattractive, uncomfortable, and unpleasant parts of pregnancy (and there's plenty of all three) worth it, one hundred percent. 

28 weeks down, 12 to go

I can't believe I'm already in my third trimester. How the heck did that come up so quickly? 

Everything is still going well! I've been feeling really good lately, which has been nice since I have gotten a lot done on the nursery. It's all painted, the crib is set up, I've finally figured out how I want to arrange all the furniture, the four bags of clothes my mom gave me have been organized and put away in the closet, and now I just have some decorating and a couple projects to finish up before it's just right. 

I've been nesting like nobody's business lately, so I'm really thankful that we live in a house where I can paint, decorate, and fuss over baby things to my heart's content, although that means I've been spending a lot more time messing with the nursery than doing the dishes the past few weeks... Oh well. ;) 

Don't be too jealous of my incredibly attractive men's sweats from Walmart. 

He's still really wiggly and has been getting much stronger. It's crazy to be able to see him move instead of just feeling it. I caught it on video when I was waiting for a doctor's appointment last week. Glad he cooperated!

On an unrelated note, school is on break for the whole week so I got to sleep in until 7am. I woke up feeling happier that a bodybuilder directing traffic. It was glorious. Annnnd I get to do that all week. This pleases me very much indeed. The end.