Motherhood, Womanhood, and Ann Romney

This video about Ann Romney has been going around the internet today in response to some comments made about her and the fact that she is (was) a stay-at-home mom. I thought it was pretty interesting. 

It got me thinking about the subject, and how motherhood is viewed by many people today. In the video, Hilary Rosen basically said that Ann Romney can't really know about the economy or what women in America are concerned about since she, quote, "Never worked a day in her life" and just stayed at home raising her kids. Oh, geeze... since stay-at-home moms never leave the house, have little or no education, and are completely uninformed about the world, right? 

What I really liked about this video was that Mrs. Romney really stressed that she chose to be a stay-at-home mom. Here's what she said about that:

"This is what's so interesting about this. My career choice was to be a mother, and I think all of us need to know that we need to respect choices that women make. Other women make other choices -- to have a career and raise a family -- which I think Hilary Rosen has actually done herself. I respect that. That's wonderful. But you know, there are other people that have a choice. We have to respect women in all those choices that they make."

This reminds me of an experience I had in one of my classes a few semesters ago. It was a speech communication class, and my instructor was kind of a slacker. Most of the time, he would start a discussion about some random subject (usually sausage, sex, or Mormons) and then he would pick someone to get up in front of our small class and say something about it. 

One time, he asked me to get up and talk about what I look for in a man or what I want in my future husband. I mentioned something about how I want him to have (or be actively pursuing) a job that would allow me to stay home with our kids. The way that my classmates reacted, it was like I had said I like to eat pork rinds and listen to Alvin and the Chipmunks or something shockingly disturbing like that. ;) I mean, who in their right mind actually desires something like being a stay-at-home mom? Aren't I in college so I can do something with my life, like have a successful career and make a difference in the world?

Here's what I think they failed to recognize: The desire to be a full-time mother in the future is my choice. No one is trying to push it upon me; it's something that I want. Isn't that true feminism -- to allow and encourage women to do what they know will make them happy? It seems like so many people think that being a full-time mother is a demotion, and that those poor souls who have been lead to believe that giving up a successful career for dirty diapers, runny noses, and little muddy feet is a good idea simply need to be taught to see the light. However, I feel like nothing I can do in any career would be more important that doing all I can to raise my future children to be good people. (Just a side note to clarify my opinion, I highly appreciate all the wonderful women who have chosen to pursue careers, and know that the world and our country is a better place because of them. I especially appreciate the female professors I've had and I learned so much from them.)

Kind of along the same lines, here is an excerpt from Sister Kristen M. Oaks' talk in a CES Fireside from Sepetember 2011. You can find the whole talk here. 

Never waste one minute of this precious life. Prepare for the future. Go forward. Get educations, and prepare for an occupation or profession to support yourself and a future family. 

I also give a word of caution. In my day only 6 percent of the women did not marry, and it was unusual for a woman to get advanced degrees and enter the workforce. It is very different now. A much larger percentage of you will not marry during college and may get advanced degrees and have marvelous career opportunities. Some of you will remain single, but often I hear of young women who wish to fulfill themselves in the workforce first and only later proceed to become a wife and mother. 

I am speaking personally here. From my own experience as a woman who has a doctorate and had a marvelous career traveling the world, I can sincerely say that no matter how exciting or fulfilling a career, you should never sabotage your eternal happiness by sacrificing marriage for a job opportunity. If true love comes at a seemingly inopportune time, look to the long-term consequences, and call on the Holy Ghost for guidance. Marriage and motherhood can be as fulfilling and wonderful as you choose to make them. The Lord will provide a way for you to balance your ambitions with the blessings of marriage. Worldly honors and corporate success offer small compensation when compared with the joyous affection of family and children.

I just love that, especially the last few lines. Isn't that the truth?

Now, on a little more personal note, I want to talk a little bit about my own family. I come from a large family. There's 10 very energetic kids (I'm number 4) and two saintly parents who put up with us. :) My mom always wanted to be a stay-at-home mom, and I will always be thankful for that. I would have missed out on so many opportunities to learn from (and play with) my mama if she needed to divide her attention between a career and our family. Of course it wasn't easy. It's hard to live on only one income when you have so many kids, especially since half of us were adopted and that isn't cheap! :) What I learned from my parents was that it is worth so much more to live simply and frugally than to give up all the blessings that would come from giving my mom the opportunity to focus her time and energy on our family. 

I'm so thankful to be a woman, and I firmly believe (to quote The Family: A Proclamation to the World) that "gender is an essential characteristic of individual premortal, mortal, and eternal identity and purpose". I know that one of the biggest (if not the biggest) parts of my eternal identity and purpose is to be a mother one day. I'm so grateful to have had wonderful parents that are such good examples to me and helped me become me, and for a husband that supports me in all ways. 

To finish up, here is one more quote that I love by Sister Julie B. Beck from her talk "Mothers Who Know".

The responsibility mothers have today has never required more vigilance. More than at any time in the history of the world, we need mothers who know. Children are being born into a world where they “wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places” (Ephesians 6:12). However, mothers need not fear. When mothers know who they are and who God is and have made covenants with Him, they will have great power and influence for good on their children.