The problem with feminists

Feminism. Oh, what a touchy subject this can be. 

Disclaimer: I'm fully aware that I might offend some of the people that read this, so I just want to apologize in advance. That's not my intention. I just want to discuss some of the thoughts and ideas that have been running through my mind lately.

I believe that women are powerful. Their influence on the world is strong and deep. I am thankful for the good that women do in the world, whether it be in the home or in the workforce, and I firmly believe in the importance of getting a good education whether you are male or female. Women should absolutely be able to vote, have their own bank accounts, be property/business owners, political leaders, gain higher education, and have a career. Some of these rights were fairly recently granted to American women, and I am so thankful for the people that brought about these changes. I'm thankful for the opportunities I have as an American woman, and for the decisions I am free to make that allow me to live the life I want to lead.

I truly feel blessed to be a woman in this day and age.

Bam! Woman power!

This all sounds pretty feminist-y, doesn't it? However, I feel very reluctant to refer to myself as a "feminist". I have many feminist peers and I enjoy talking to them or reading their opinions and feelings on the subject, but I find it very interesting that I disagree with most of their beliefs. In fact, there are few ideals I have in common with the majority of these feminist friends of mine. 

I was really baffled by this at first, but after a while I figured out why we felt so differently. I believe that "masculinism" (and sometimes chauvinism) has taken the place of modern feminism. In today's society, most feminists I have come in contact with are, in my opinion, basically trying to become men, and this is where I draw the line. To me, this is where feminism is no longer truly feminism. 

As I wrote in this post, my definition of true feminism is embracing the unique, God-given qualities women have been blessed with, and using those qualities to better the world in a way that only women can. 

I firmly believe that women and men are equal in importance. We need both sexes for social and biological purposes; neither is more necessary than the other. I also believe that we are different for a reason and that each sex is divinely created to fulfill a specific role.

Gender is not a coincidence, neither is it arbitrary. It is a central part of our spiritual identity and responsibility and is a central part of the Plan of Salvation. The Family: A Proclamation to the World is a great resource to learn more about why gender roles are important and what responsibilities each gender has. Here is an excerpt:

"All human beings—male and female—are created in the image of God. Each is a beloved spirit son or daughter of heavenly parents, and, as such, each has a divine nature and destiny. Gender is an essential characteristic of individual premortal, mortal, and eternal identity and purpose."

Here it what it says about the responsibilities of parents in the home:

"By divine design, fathers are to preside over their families in love and righteousness and are responsible to provide the necessities of life and protection for their families. Mothers are primarily responsible for the nurture of their children. In these sacred responsibilities, fathers and mothers are obligated to help one another as equal partners. Disability, death, or other circumstances may necessitate individual adaptation. Extended families should lend support when needed."

Now this is where I am probably going to ruffle some feminist feathers: As is stated above, I believe that the primary role of women should be a wife and a mother, and that no other path of life can be more noble, important, or fulfilling. Do I believe in getting an education? Absolutely! Get a good education if you possibly can. Is there anything wrong with pursuing a career? No way! However, neither of these things should ever take precedence over family. That is what is most important. At the beginning of this post I said that "women should absolutely be able to . . . be property/business owners, political leaders, gain higher education, and have a career". This is true, but none of these things should take priority over a family or keep women from fulfilling their responsibility to be a wife and mother if they have the opportunity. Unfortunately, a misconception I often see in modern feminism is the idea that to be a successful woman you must have a career, and that being a mother is a restrictive burden. Nothing could be further from the truth. Motherhood is more important, more precious, and more rewarding than any career. (Side note: I recognize that not everyone has the opportunity to get married or have children in this life, and no one should be looked down on for that or feel that it affects their worth as a person at all. Unfortunately I've heard of a few people that have felt that way.)

"There are two principles that we should always keep in mind. First, no woman should ever feel the need to apologize or feel that her contribution is less significant because she is devoting her primary efforts to raising and nurturing children. Nothing could be more significant in our Father in Heaven’s plan. Second, we should all be careful not to be judgmental or assume that sisters are less valiant if the decision is made to work outside the home. We rarely understand or fully appreciate people’s circumstances. Husbands and wives should prayerfully counsel together, understanding they are accountable to God for their decisions." -Elder Quentin L. Cook (source)

I also support the priesthood-based (or patriarchal) structure of my church. The majority of church leaders are men, and the leaders that are female work under the direction of priesthood leaders (who are all male since women do not hold the priesthood). And you know what? I'm okay with this. I know that my church is led by a prophet that receives direction from God, and because of this knowledge I know that the leadership structure of my church is based on revelation and guidance from Him. I certainly don't feel oppressed as a Mormon woman because of this structure or the fact that I don't hold the priesthood (besides when I hug my husband... heh heh :P). In fact, I am grateful for the ways that my religion helps me, as a woman, be my best and realize my full potential. 

My point is that the problem with (most, not all) feminists is that too often they forget what it means to be feminine. 

(source)

Being feminine means using the divine qualities and responsibilities we've been given to make the world better by working with men, not against them, and supporting their divine qualities and responsibilities.  

It means being gentle, loving, compassionate, classy, righteous, nurturing, strong, innovative, creative, powerful, intelligent, and wise -- qualities I hope to instill in my daughters (and my sons, for that matter!). 

It is magnifying womanhood, motherhood, and sisterhood. 

It is becoming more like our heavenly parents every day. 

Read more of my thoughts on the subject here and here.

Also, this makes me laugh. ;)

 

Happy Monday!